A Gift from the Goddess by Dawn Rosewood novel Chapter 54

Chapter Fifty–Four 

“Kiss me,” I said. 

“...What...?” 

After leaving home, I‘d headed straight to where I knew they would be. Somewhere I knew that I definitely shouldn‘t be. 

But there was no hesitation as I‘d confidently walked up and knocked on their door. And when Cai had answered, I‘d ignored his confusion and demanded the one thing I knew could make me feel better. 

Because if it felt anywhere near as good as the first time, then maybe it would be enough to make me forget for a moment that everything was falling to pieces around me. 

“Kiss me,” I repeated. 

His eyes were wide, stunned at my request, but he wasn‘t moving. I could see he was still in the same attire he‘d been in earlier; the formal clothes making his body somehow look even more fitted. 

I quietly sighed impatiently whilst his head tried to comprehend exactly what was happening. 

“Aria–.” 

However, I didn‘t wait for him to finish his sentence. It wasn‘t words I wanted right now... it was him. 

I walked up and pulled on the collar of his shirt until his face was within reach of my own. 

“Please, Cai...,” I whispered, as I looked up slowly from his lips to his eyes. 

He was so close now that it caused a shiver of anticipation to run through my body. I needed this, I needed him, and I could see in his eyes that he wanted me too. The tension between us was becoming so intense that it felt tangible. 1 

The cold night breeze swept around us and it only made the warmth coming from him even more inviting. I loosened the hand I had hooked onto his shirt and ran it all the way along his chest, feeling him under m y touch, until it rested on his broad shoulder. I wanted him closer, his body still feeling too far away. 

My heart jumped a little when I saw him finally lean in closer and place his hand on the side of my head, his thumb resting against my cheek tenderly. And instinctively, I closed my eyes as I moved towards him, preparing myself for what would happen next. 

But instead of feeling him against my lips, I felt him shift away... and kiss my cheek instead. 

“No,” he said quietly. “Not like this.” 

I snapped my eyes open to look at him. 

“No… no, please, I need this,” I said and grabbed onto him tighter. “Please, Cai... I want you.” 

He closed his eyes and looked pained, almost as if he was internally having a battle within himself. 

“Aria–” 

“No, you said you wanted me,” I said, my voice becoming more frantic. “Why are you doing this now?” 

“Because I honestly don‘t know if it‘s me you want right now, or if it‘s just you finding an outlet for your grief.” 

I could feel as my cheeks began to burn in humiliation, my eyes tearing up, and instantly I dropped my 

side as if he‘d just stung me. His words left me embarrassed and hurt over his rejection, and... angry. Angry that everyone was choosing to disappoint me today of all days. 

Chaptei Hity Out 

“Don‘t give me that crap... I‘m sick of hearing people saying that to me today. I‘m fine! This isn‘t about Мута.” 

‘Aria,” he said sternly. “You couldn‘t even stand to look at me today and yet somehow you‘re now on my doorstep begging for me. Excuse me if I‘m a little sceptical of the sincerity here.” 

“Why do you even care? This is what you wanted, right? You just wanted to sleep with me?” I argued.” Well, here I am, Cai!” 

I tried to grab at his hands but he took a step away, creating a small distance between us. I couldn‘t help but flinch at his movement to get away from me. 

“I said I wanted you, Aria. You as a whole. Not... whoever the hell this is right now. And I honestly think that maybe, deep down, you do actually want me too... but the way you‘re acting right now just tells me that you‘re in too much pain to think clearly.” 

I gritted my teeth. “There‘s nothing wrong with me...,” I whispered. 

“The fact you can‘t even see it is part of the issue here.” 

He sighed, calming himself down. 

“Look,” he said. “I promise I‘ll be there for you, even if that’s just as a friend. But I have more self–respect than to sit back and let you use me because of the feelings I have for you. Because I do want you... and I honestly want nothing more than for you to tell me right now that I‘m wrong about all of this. But from what I can see, you need help, Aria, and I‘m happy to oblige... but not like that. Not if it‘s just temporary to help you deal with what‘s happened.” 

I was silent. I wanted to speak, to tell him he was wrong, but I couldn‘t find the words. 

“Aria?” he pressed. “Tell me that I‘m wrong and it‘s me you actually want. Or tell me that you want my help, and I‘ll help you.” 

I could feel my heart racing as I tried to think... but ultimately shook my head. This wasn‘t the sort of on the spot decision I had expected to deal with when coming here. I wasn‘t ready for that sort of pressure right now. 

“...I thought so,” he said quietly. 

“I can‘t deal with this right now. I… I need to go.” 

I took several steps away but Cai called out to me. His expression changed to one of worry and I could feel he was about to chase after me, but I held up a hand to warn him to stay away. 

“Aria, wait, where are you going?” 

I didn‘t reply and instead spun around, walking off into the night away from him. There was no point in staying any longer. I was already at the point of feeling humiliated and confused enough. 

“Aria, promise me you‘re going home?” 

But I didn‘t stop. I kept walking. I kept walking not really knowing where I was going but I knew I needed to keep moving. 

However, after several minutes, I couldn‘t help it anymore, unable to hold it in. I screamed out into the sky; my frustration finally getting the better of me. 

Aleric, my father, Cai... everyone that I had hoped would act one way, had ended up doing the opposite when I‘d needed them most. I had needed Aleric to believe me, to take my side. I‘d needed my father to push for Thea‘s arrest, or at least confinement until it was safe to find more evidence. And I‘d needed Cai... I‘d needed... 1 

I shook the thoughts out of my head. 

No, this was all Thea‘s fault. Everything had been fine before she‘d shown up. Myra would still be alive and I wouldn‘t be fighting with Aleric and my father. I wouldn‘t have to feel so messed up inside. 

The ground then suddenly came rushing towards me as I fell, and I began to crawl even as the pain got worse; I was determined to keep going no matter the cost. It was as if a car was thrown on top of my body, crushing me slowly the more I fought against it