A Gift from the Goddess by Dawn Rosewood novel Chapter 69

Chapter Sixty–Nine 

‘Reach for it... 

‘Stretch... 

I dug deep within myself, searching where I had felt that familiar energy first stem from. Before it used to always feel like it was just out of arm‘s length, as if only the tip of my fingernail could graze it, but now it felt as though I needed several more appendages just to get anywhere near it. 

But it was there. I had to believe that it hadn‘t just been my imagination. 

Stretch just a little further...‘ 

But then I exhaled quickly in release, panting from the strain it had caused to my body. 

I‘d been sitting on my bed practising ever since arriving back at my guest lodgings. However, since starting over an hour ago, there had been little to show in progress. 

I knew there had to be a trick to this, some sort of internal cue to summon it. Elder Luke had mentioned that this energy was something that could be trained but I was now trying to accomplish it with a severe handicap. So naturally, a part of me was kicking myself for not learning this prior to the collar. 

I threw myself backwards on the bed, laying down in defeat. This was becoming infuriating, not to mention exhausting. How was I meant to practice something if I couldn‘t even begin to grasp it? This 

stupid energy that was a byproduct of my curse. 

Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried again once more, digging as deep as physically possible. 

Grab it already. It‘s there. It‘s literally right there.’ 

Just grab it! 

... And then I felt it. 

My eyes immediately flew open as I felt the energy weakly pulse inside me. 

Just a dim flickering. Not much, but just enough to know it was there. 

‘HOLD IT. 

| gritted my teeth, fighting against all the different forces working against me... the collar, my now weaker body, the pure effort required to just utilise the energy itself... but it wasn‘t enough. 

| exhaled once more in release, heaving at the air around me. 

It was gone. Gone just as quickly as it had shown itself. 

But I couldn‘t discredit the noticeable differences and how they were definitely better when compared to my past experiences. There was no dizziness... no nosebleeds… no nausea. Not yet at least. It was mostly just aching and exhaustion from the attempts. 

What had been the trigger? My frustration? ...Emotion? I supposed that made sense. All the times it had come to me in the past were under circumstances of higher emotional investment. But would knowing that actually make it any easier? 

For now, I just needed to repeat this over and over again until I trained my body to grasp it on will, each time trying to hold it for a few seconds longer. 

And so, even though I knew how much it was probably going to hurt, I smiled at the excruciatingly slow grind ahead of me. 

How naive of me to think that at one point i‘d thoughi squats were bad 

“What the hell happened to you?” Aletic asked the next morning, eyeing off my appearance 

1 yawned but managed to bow my head in greeting per protocol 

“Good morning,” I said sleepily. “I didn‘t get much rest. Sorry for all of the fuss.” 

“I thought you were dead,” he said with all seriousness 

I‘d ended up staying up all night practising, pushing myself to my limit, before finally passing out sometime in the early morning My exhaustion had been so bad though that an attendant had to enter my guest lodgings with a master key after I‘d failed to answer the door. Apparently. Alenc had nearly smashed it down from knocking and had thought something had happened to me 

In actuality, I was just dead to the world sleeping. 

“I‘m sorry,” I repeated, though this time trying to make it sound more genuine. 

He sighed but his shoulders didn‘t relax. “It‘s fine. Grab your stuff and let‘s get going.” 

I wondered whether this had scared him off from ever bringing me with him again but I went back inside t o pack without questioning it. Truthfully, I wasn‘t even sure if I ever wanted to go to another meeting like this again but knew it was best not to push my luck whilst he was like this. I could tell that what I‘d done had really struck a nerve with him. 

The drive back was mostly quiet with small talk in between. He seemed to have settled down a little since the morning but my sleepless night was quickly catching up to me. Every inch of my body was aching for my bed 

..And so, without much energy left to resist, I eventually drifted off to sleep in the car. 

“Aria,” a voice called out to me. 

I stirred but didn‘t want to move, my eyelids heavy with exhaustion. 

“Aria, get up,” it repeated. “We‘re here.” 

I grumbled but slowly forced myself awake to see Aleric in the car beside me. 

“Come on. You can sleep inside,” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out. 

Begrudgingly, I followed behind him, my moves sluggish. Though part of my reluctance siemmed from weighing up whether it would be better to stay in the car as opposed to returning to my room. 

Several warriors and pack members stared as we entered but I did my best to ignore them. All of them probably had a plethora of questions that I didn‘t care to answer. Instead, I followed silently behind Aleric all the way until we made it to the main floor, our quarters opposite ends. 

This was it. What would happen when I went back in there? Would I never want to leave again? 

I stared at the threshold of my room, eyeing the door off sceptically. I felt sick inside just thinking about this place. 

Aleric then came up behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder. 

“Tomorrow morning,” he reassured. “I promise I‘ll talk to Tytus first thing in the morning. Hopefully, he won‘t care whether you remain in the Luna quarters and we can get you moved out quickly.” 

Chapter Sixty Nine 

I mutely nodded but still remained uneasy. And whilst it wasn‘t this* Aleric‘s fault, his presence probably wasn‘t making the situation any better given the circumstances of why I hated this place. 

Here was this seemingly insignificant room, these walls of no importance. And yet they held more weight over me than I‘d ever dare to admit aloud. Why was it that this place continued to drain me more than anything else these days? Ironically, it felt as though the quarters were living rent free inside my head rather than the reverse. 

‘Screw it,‘ I finally decided. ‘I am not her and I will not cower.’ 

I pushed the door open then and took a second to take it all in. The overly familiar scenery, scents, sensations... 

And I pushed it as far back as I could. 

If I could summon the literal authority of a goddamn Goddess, then there was no way I was going to let a room destroy me. 

Stronger. My goal was to get stronger. And it had already started. 

First a room, then Thea, then maybe a revolution. Hopefully, within all of that, I could also prevent an apocalypse in the process. It was just baby steps. Should be easy enough, right? 

“Thanks,” I said to Aleric, my tone dismissing him. “I‘ll be okay from here.” 

He looked at me hesitantly, as if weighing up whether he should insist on staying or not, but he finally nodded, accepting my request. 

“Aright,” he said, his hand on the door. “Have a good rest and I‘ll see you tomorrow.” 

“You keep coming around so often and I‘ll start thinking you have no friends,” I joked. 

He smiled. “Unfortunately, just one very annoying one.” 

I missed our conversations like this. Our real ones. It honestly felt like we hadn‘t spoken naturally to one another since back when I was still a Beta heir. This trip had been a nice reminder of what it felt like to speak freely again. Though not entirely free. Not as freely as I had spoken to Cai... 

‘Nope. I‘m not going there.‘ 

I shook off the thoughts quickly and threw my bag down by the door, walking towards my room. 

If there was one thing that she*, my past self, had been right about, it was that getting involved with someone romantically had ended up being a mistake. I‘d been broken already once and had stupidly dragged myself back into that pit of pain willingly. Just for a touch, a glance, a glimpse into what it would feel like to be happy. 

“I‘m talking about you,” I whispered to the mirror on the wall, my eyes narrowing. “I‘m telling you that you were right. At least about one thing. Are you not even going to gloat a little?” 

However, there was still no reply and only silence greeted me. It was nice not having her fogging up my head anymore but I wasn‘t under any false pretence. Even though my make–up covered up the worst of m y exhaustion, I knew she would still be there somewhere. She was always there. 

However, for all the motivation I felt to keep going, the exhaustion finally became too much sometime after dark. I‘d had two nights of minimal sleep and my body was already overworked thanks to the new discovery I‘d found within myself. 

“...Aleric...?” 

Run? No, there was no way I‘d be fast enough. Hide? Nope, they probably could see me right now anyway. Order them to stand down? No, that option was way too risky and would probably not work given how much I‘d exhausted my body earlier, 

“ALE–.” 

I could feel he wasn‘t taking me to the front door and that made sense. He wasn‘t about to just waltz out with me over his shoulder. Even at this time of night, there would be people still awake in the packhouse o n patrol. He might have managed to get in here without suspicion, but there was no way he was going to b e able to get me out that way. 

Mustering every ounce of strength inside me, I managed to kick one of my legs free from out of his grasp and, without hesitating for even a second, I brought it straight back down... and out through the window. 

...And, fuck, did it hurt.