Big Bad Wolfie novel Chapter 29

  Hehehe.

  That was fun.

  And terrible.

  But mostly fun!

  . . . Not really, it was pretty unbearable.

The way his scent felt all over me and in my nose and lungs was heaven.

What I didn't like was what it did to my head. It made me feel out of control. I'm no stranger to the feeling, but the consequences are the opposite of heavenly.

  When he took off that d@mn shirt of his, my lungs felt like they do when I see a needle or. . . Never mind. They felt like they were closing in on me, and my heart was beating tens of beats per minute.

  All my instincts were telling me to take a bite.

  A loonnggg, delicious bite.

  But if I expect him to show restraint, I have to too.

  But now I'm in some room in their pack house. I don't quite know why I chose this one to run to. It's on the third floor and pretty deep within the house.

  All I know, is that it smells like him.

And is covered in pictures of him.

So it's probably his room.

Great place to hide from him, right?

Definitely not, but that didn't stop me from slowly running my fingers along the desk. Or taking one of the pillows and holding it to my chest.

I took in a long, deep breath and the smell of guy's shampoo and him flooded my senses.

I should really get out of here.

Oh look, pictures. Fun.

I walked over to the full body mirror with pictures taped all over the perimeter, pillow in hand.

Where to start?

My eyes were drawn to one of him, Happy, and some other guy at a lake. They were all wearing swim trunks and no shirt.

I think I'm developing an obsession with his chest.

But his arms are so nice too!

But those abs!

Apparently the obsession is with his entire upper body. Good to know.

It might even compete with his eyes or smile.

But I digress. My eyes kept skimming around the mirror and it seemed that in every single one of the pictures he was smiling.

Smiling a beautiful and dangerous smile.

It's only dangerous to me really, but that doesn't take away its merit.

. . . It's a smile that hasn't been directed at me since. . . Ever. He hasn't smiled at me once. Only smirks and vexing grins have been sent my way.

And it f**king hurts.

  So much.

Why does it hurt so much? And why does it only hurt sometimes?

. . . I guess the same reason all the bad memories only hurt sometimes.

But when they do they hurt like a b***h.

Makes sense.

F**k, now I'm crying.

And cussing. Telltale sign I'm f**king sad.

I tore my eyes away from the mirror covered in something I may never experience, someone I might never meet, and walked right into another picture of a happy Wolfie. But this one was framed.

And with a girl.

I realized I've had a sad smile on my face throughout this whole ordeal, because it dropped a centimeter. And so fallowed a small tear.

I guess looking at my beautiful mate and his heart stopping smile is something to grin about. And the fact I'll never have him is certainly something to cry about.

I stared at the picture.

They are in the woods, probably the ones right outside this pack, and she's on his back giving him a kiss on the temple. His smile is more radiant than I'm sure the camera could capture.

Another tear.

I don't know if the tears are because of this picture or their just the build up of moisture in my eyes overflowing from this whole experience.

The picture may have just tipped the scale.

Yes, I think that's what happened.

Though, the sad smile's still on my face.

"That's his cousin."

"Holy crap!"

I tried to throw the picture back to its rightful place on the desk, but it only ended up tumbling down. I caught it before it could hit the ground and fumbled to get it standing.

I made my first glance towards the intruder and found the luna. Wolfie's mom.

I let out a nervous laugh, "Wow, I didn't. . . I didn't even hear you." I stuttered.  Why am I panting and why is my heart beating so fast? "Which is. . . Weird," I furrowed my brow. I don't just not hear things. I didn't smell or feel her either.

  "Um, how long have you been standing there?" I asked, my toe digging into the ground.

  "Since you smelled the pillow."

"Oh."

. . .Well. . . She saw everything.

  That's embarrassing.

  ". . . Um," I dropped the pillow back on the bed.

  She chuckled.

  What does that mean? She just found the one who just kicked her son's @ss in his room.

  Laughing doesn't seem like a fitting reaction.

  I suddenly remembered why I was alerted of her presence in the fist place.

  "Who's his cousin?" I tilted my head. We're the only ones in here.

  She nodded her head to the picture as she came deeper into the room. "The girl in the picture," she smiled.

  "Oh. . ."

  Thank the goddess! HA! IM the only girl for him, d@mnit!

  The luna came closer. I eyed her and watched as she fixed the pillow on his bed and redirected her attention back to me.

  "So," she said seriously, "what were you doing in here? Poisoning my son's pillow with some vampire voodoo?"

  My eyes bulged, "U-um. . . Um."

  NO!

  Why can't I just say that?!

  I'm freakin out!

  She burst into laughter, "I'm kidding with you dear," she watched me warmly.

  I sighed in relief.

  She giggled at that.

  "Of course you'd come here," she smiled, looking around, "It's covered in his scent."

  I nodded and followed her gaze. I've already fallen in love with this room.

  I guess it makes sense why Wolfie picked my room to sleep in back in my house then. I don't even think he knows it was mine.

  I looked back at the luna and found her staring at me.

  "Oh, um. . ." Since when do I get tongue tied? I'm trying to find words to explain further what I'm doing here.

  I feel like I got caught taking a cookie out of the jar, and because I'm craving it doesn't feel like a good enough excuse.

  The luna laughed again, "Don't worry about it, sweetheart."

Aw. . . She called me sweetheart.

"I'm assuming you've done some exploring already," she said, following my path and running her hands over things.

"Um, yeah."

Oh my goddess, why am I so freaking awkward?

She nodded absentmindedly, "well do you have any questions?" She asked, stopping and facing me.

My eyes widened a little at the welcoming question, "Oh, um, yeah."

I looked around for something I wanted to ask about. I'm not wasting this opportunity to learn something about Wolfie.

My eyes zeroed in on a picture of a young Jason and another boy I've never seen before. Of course Wolfie has that brilliant smile on his face.

They both look so happy. Maybe that's why I picked it.

"Who's that?" I asked pointing to the picture.

She followed my gaze and smiled lightly. "I was hoping you'd ask about him."

I raised my brows. "Really? Why?"

"Because I know Jason would never bring it up on his own," she chuckled.

But there was a hint of sadness there.

I cleared my throat. ". . . Who is he?" I asked hesitantly, wary of her reaction.

She tilted her head, admiring the photo. "It's my first born. Jason's older brother, Dillan. He's three years older than Jason."

I stayed silent, feeling like there's more to this considering her tone and the fact Jason would never bring him up.

"He passed away during The Blood War."

My breath caught in my throat.

  . . . Oh.

I looked down, a nasty feeling filling my stomach.

There's really nothing I can say to make this go away.

I would know.

But, everyone always tries, and I'm no exception. "I. . . I'm really sorry about that."

"It's alright dear, he's in a better place now," she sighed and seemed to hesitate.

". . .And this is why I ask you to cut my son a little slack."

Oh, this is why she hesitated.

"I'm not saying it's an excuse for how he's been behaving, because it's not, but he started his training very late, so he doesn't exactly have the whole thing down to a T."

She looked at me like she was pleading, "My son is a good boy, he just gets caught up in trying to prove himself to his father and be like his brother would have been, and what not."

I opened my mouth to respond but she cut me off, "I'm sure he'll learn though, very sure. He just needs time —"

It was my turn to cut her off, "Of course," I had to hold back a small giggle at the way she jumped to defend her son. It was cute.

"Thank you for helping me understand," I told her sincerely.

  "Of course, dear," she suddenly switched back to being completely composed. "Just be glad one of the boys didn't find you in here first," she laughed. "They're a little less —"

  "Mom?"

  "Hun?" I heard two male voices down the hall.

  Well, shoot.

•••Jason's POV•••

  My father and I found mom in the doorway of my room while following Maria's scent.

It's strong down this hallway.

  My brows furrowed, "Did you find her?" I asked Mom.

  By the time I got to the doorway my question was answered.

There she is, standing in the middle of the room.

'She came to our room. She's drawn to us.'

She is.

Pride and happiness swelled in my chest. Not that I did anything to make her drawn to us. That was all the Moon Goddess' doing.

'Well, thank goodness her.'

Yeah.

I put on an infuriated face.

'Why are you doing that?!'

She kneed us in the family jewels, I answered blankly.

'Oh, right.'

'Grrrrr.'

I rolled my eyes at him.

But because of her dumb @ss decision, I can't bask in the fact she went straight to our room, now I'm just f**king pissed.

"What the h3ll are you doing in here?!" I yelled at her.

"Um, I-I —"

I shook my head, "Whatever," I stormed in and grabbed her wrist.

And I could swear, up close it looks like tears are lining in her eyes.

I shook it off. I'm probably imagining things.

I yanked her with me as I left the room.

"Son, you need to calm —"

"Let me handle this, mother," I threw over my shoulder.

I caught a glance of my father while doing so, and he doesn't seem to disagree with my actions.

For once.

He actually approves of me.

'. . . Where are we going?'

I don't know!

'Our office?'

Good idea.

'I know.'

Images of what I'm going to do to her to make her pay for this flashed through my head.

They kept on getting more and more violent.

I came to an angry stop that had Maria running into my back.

Stop it Ki!

'What?! She deserves it!'

She's not a wolf! Other mates don't interact that way!

'She can take it.'

Ki! I swear —

"Alpha Jason!" Someone's voice snapped me out of my dark thoughts.

  My head snapped to them, "What?!"

  They straightened up, probably surprised by my tone. "You got an urgent call from Beta Zach. Says he needs you back at House Crimson immediately. They found something they need you to know about as soon as possible."

  I looked at Maria then back at him.

  A growl ripped through me, "Fine, tell him I'm on my way."