Love Aint Always Pretty novel Chapter 93

Mágoa

- a heartbreaking feeling that leaves long-lasting traces, visible in gestures and facial expressions

Origin: Portuguese

93

SAVANNAH'S POV

"I'll deal with Damon after Tracy's burial." Those were the words Nick said to me.

At some point, I have concluded that life really is unfair and uncertain. Unfair, because at some point the good people dies and the bad people lives. Uncertain, because we don't know how our life goes and when the people close to us will be gone or will return.

After Tracy's burial, all of us felt drained by how early she left us. I haven't even talked to her when I came here. I was planning on surprising her when me and Nick would fix things between us, but it's too late. She's gone and we won't see here anymore. It just hurts me as much as it hurts Nick because it felt like I lost a sister. A person very dear to me. A best friend and a loved one.

Patricia Veronica Wilde

1989-2017

"You'll always be in our hearts as a daughter, a sister, a friend and a best friend."

I take a good look at her tomb and the words engraved on it just rips my heart out from my chest. This will be one of the greatest loss in my life that has affected almost the people close to me. Nick wraps his arm around me and kissed my hair. I wiped my tear that was crawling on my cheeks.

"We'll be okay. She's in a better place now." Nick comforts me.

"It won't be the same without Tracy, Nick." I say.

"She's looking down at us from above. She's happy for us."

I see Dakota walking towards us with Hugh carrying Dani. Nick briefly hugs Dakota and shakes hand with Hugh then kisses Dani's forehead.

"Thanks for coming today." Nick tells them.

"Tracy has been a part of my life too. She's gone too soon." Dakota says.

"Everything will be okay daddy. Aunt Tracy is already with God." Dani says.

Nick smiles.

Dakota moved her eyes at me, "I'm glad you're here for Nick."

I smiled at her.

"Don't let him go this time. He's been crazy searching for you ever since you left for England." She gazes at Nick then looks back at me with a smile.

"I'm sorry I got in the way. He really loves you so much." She adds.

Nick takes a gentle grip on my arm and smiled at me.

"I was hoping on seeing your child today, is she here?" Dakota asked.

"She's in Aries' car, asleep." I answered.

She nods. "Well maybe we can have dinner together some other time? Dani told me Lissa is such a nice girl."

I smiled at her. I wasn't really expecting to be friends with my ex-boss. She was all over Nick that time and now look at us, I guess time makes you grow up and forget about everything that happened in the past, even the craziest mistakes we've done.

"We better go. Say goodbye to daddy, Dani." Dakota tells her daughter.

Nick moved closer to her and hugged Dani tight as he kisses her forehead.

"Be a good girl, alright Dani?" Nick said.

Dani nods and then she opened her arms to me too. I hugged her as well and the thought of it just makes me happy. "I'm happy I have a second mommy." She whispers to me.

I pulled myself away and smiled at her.

"Lissa will be very excited to see you again." I tell her.

"And I'm happy Lissa is my sister. I'm very happy aunt Savannah." She smiles.

At first I was really worried that she won't like Lissa because she'll have to with share Nick's attention, even though I know Nick isn't her father, but it turned out to be the least I expected it to be. Dani really likes Lissa and she treats her as her older sister. I don't blame them for not telling Dani about the truth yet, I'm just happy right now that everything is okay right now, between me and nick then with me and Dakota.

"We'll be going now." Dakota bids goodbye and I watch as Dani waves at us. Of course I waved back, she wasn't the kind of child that's hard to love.

I turned my attention to Nick who was already looking at Tracy's tomb. I held his cheek and he quickly looked at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He takes a gentle grip on my waist and kissed my forehead then wraps his arms around me. "I'm glad you're here with me right now babe."

I smiled.

I missed that. "Say that again please."

He looked down at me. "Say what again?"

"The word you called me."

He smiles. "You love hearing that don't you?"

I nod.

"I love you babe." he says to me.

And I loved it even more when he said those words to me. I tiptoed and reached for his lips then kissed it. "I love you too."

•••••

The following day, Aries Lissa, Nick and I went out to grab some lunch together. Even though Tracy had left us, we still need to move on with our lives and even though I lost a great sister, she will always be with me. I know she will always be watching us and I'm sure she's happy for me and Nick. It just feels too bad that she won't be with us anymore.

"I'll be visiting my parents this weekend and I'm bringing Lissa with me." I say.

I look at Nick and he just munches on his food. "I'm excited to see grandpa and grandma, mommy." Lissa says.

I smiled at her. "Me too, baby."

"Are you coming with us dad?" Lissa asked Nick and I was just looking at him. He looks at me first then looks back at Lissa.

"Please say you'll come with us daddy. That will be fun." Lissa continues.

"And you too uncle Aries." Lissa adds.

Aries looks at me.

"I'll be going back to France this weekend for a convention Lissa. I would love to go but you know how busy uncle Aries is." He cooed.

Lissa pouts.

"Don't worry, your Daddy will come with you." Aries adds.

Lissa looks back at Nick. "You will daddy?"

Nick nods. "Yes. Sure. I will."

I smiled at Nick. "I'll be texting mom about it."

Hey mom! I'm in New York. Im sorry I didn't tell you right away. There were some things I needed to do. By the way, I'm with Lissa and we'll be coming over this weekend.... With Nick. -Savannah

I'm glad you're back home sweetie. It's been so long since I've seen you. There are a lot of things I wanted to say. And you're with Nick you say? Where's Damon? -Mom

Long story mom. And you do need to explain a lot of things. I'll tell you when I come around. I love you. -Savannah

That night, Aries had already flown to France while Lissa was already fast asleep inside her room while I was on top of this bed where Nick is lying down right next to me. He had a glass of wine on his hand while the other was on my back. I keep my eyes looking at him and I can't believe we're this close after being away from each other for so long. He moved his head down at me and kissed the tip of my nose.

"What's bugging you?" I asked.

He smiles and shakes his head sideways. "Nothing. I'm just thinking about some things."

"Things like?"

He takes a long drink from his glass and looks straight ahead. "Shouldn't we do something about Damon first?"

"Nick. We'll talk to my parents before we file a case against him. I wanna tell them first. I wanna hear what my parents have been hiding from me cos they were scared of Damon."

He nods and pulls me closer. "I'm sorry. I'm just so mad at that bastard that I want to put him in jail right away."

"He's been calling me lately but don't worry I'm not picking up."

I slightly pulled myself and stared at him. "If you're worried about how my father thinks, don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll feel worst now cos we're goddamn poor and you're more powerful than him."

"Savannah don't think like that about me. Just cos we had a fight with your father in the past doesn't mean I won't respect him." He says to me.

I slightly smiled.

"I still do. And I've heard about your father's secret addiction to casino since before and I feel sorry to hear about that, I truly am. But I hate it how you put it that way." He tells me.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so mad at my dad for what he has done to us."

"I'm not mad at him. He only wanted what was good for you. Come here."

I lay back down on his chest and he rubs my arm with his hand. "We'll go to your parents. We'll tell them about us."

I nod. "We will."

I feel him kissing the top of my head. I moved my head to him and started kissing his lips. He kisses me back and our tongue began fighting each other. I feel totally alive again when I felt his lips on me. He begins to move me down on the bed and he hovers his body on top of me. I placed my hand on his neck and our kiss begins to ignite. His lips moves down on my neck then suddenly the door opens.

"Mommy? Daddy?"

"Oh shit it's Lissa." I pushed Nick off of me. Nick begins to sit down on the bed and scratches the back of his head.

I fixed myself and stared at Lissa who was busy rubbing her eye.

"Yes baby?" I breathe.

"Can I sleep with you and daddy? I can't sleep on my bed."