My Second Chance novel Chapter 31

Ryder's P.O.V

"I love you Ryder... Don't forget that, okay? I love you..." I stared at Sapphire who was looking at me with sadness and longing in her blue gorgeous eyes. I didn't know what to say. She was the one who rejected me in the first place. What the fuck is she saying now. But the sadness in her eyes were really weighing my heart down. I clenched my jaw tightly.

"I wasn't the one to reject a mate." I snapped. She flinched at the hurt in my voice. "I know. And a million apologies won't help. This is the last time you'll see me. I just wanted to say goodbye." She smiled sadly. "I haven't even marked you yet, you don't have the power to enter my dreams Sapphire. This dream," I gestured to my surroundings, "is fake. Why am I even dreaming about you?!" "I wouldn't take back anything if I could. I would've done the same thing." Her voice breaking on the last sentence. I felt a sharp stab of pain in my heart. What did she mean that she would've done the same thing over again?! Doesn't she know that I'm hurting inside really much?! I wanted to call her a heartless bitch so much... but I couldn't. As much as I hated her, a small part of my heart would remind me that I still loved her. And I still did. That's how pathetic I was. "I don't care about you anymore." I said coldly and hurt flashed in her eyes. It took everything to stop myself from apologizing for the harsh words. "I know." She whispered and took a step towards me. I instinctively took a step back to maintain the distance between us. Not because I couldn't bear being near her...but because I'm scared I'll lose the tiny self control I had left and crash our lips together. "Please. Don't step away from me. This is the last chance I get to see you." She pleaded with tear filled eyes. Her crying shouldn't have affected me... but it did, more than it should. "It shouldn't really effect you like that, should it? Isn't that the reason you never let me finish the mating process? Cause you never even loved me." I scoffed. Disbelief shone brightly in her eyes. "No... no... never assume that. I love you, really. All the things I said earlier was just to cut off the feelings we had." The beautiful angel in front of me whispered. I shook my head at her words, "and did that help?" I couldn't help bit question bitterly. "No." She said it so softly that I almost missed it.

She took a step forwards and I stood my ground. Fine, she doesn't want me to move away, I won't. It's just a fucking dream. What harm could it bring?

She took small timid steps towards me until there was only three centimetres between us. She stood on her tippy toes and pressed her lips to mine. I stood my ground, not returning the kiss. I knew I would lose control if I did. "I'll miss your kisses." She whispered.

"Well, I won't." I gritted out. That's a total lie. I would miss her kisses. I would miss her hugs. Her body heat even. Because I know that I won't be able to touch her now that she rejected me. "I know. I did something unforgivable." She murmured. I didn't make a move to acknowledge her words and stared ahead. She trailed a hand down my chest and grabbed her hand, not letting it to continue explore the grounds it intended to. She looked up at me. I was taken aback by her eyes. They looked so... real. Not at all like I was dreaming.

"I don't mind if you find another Luna. No, you must find another Luna. Someone capable and stronger. Someone who wouldn't hurt you." She whispered softly. "Like you?" I couldn't help but ask harshly. "Like me." She looked down guiltily. "If you meant what you said earlier. About you loving me, why would you break off with me?" I gripped her hand tighter. I couldn't help but think, this dream feels so real...

"I have my reasons. But it's to protect you from me." Her voice firmer. "I don't need protecting. I am an Alpha." I growled. "Sometimes Alphas need help too." She mumbled. "I don't care what you have to say. I'm waking up. This dream isn't worth my time. You aren't worth my time." I muttered. "Okay. I'll leave. But Ryder, I did it to protect you. Please, keep yourself safe. Find a new Luna quickly so she can help you with the pack. I've failed the task obviously. Just.. take care." She chocked back a sob. "I love you." She added silently but I heard anyway.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked bitterly. She turned and faced me, giving me a small sad smile, "if you love something, let it go." "What do I need to be protected from? You're not making sense." I glared at her. She obviously got hurt by my actions.

"Me. Everything happened because you met me." She said, regret evident in her sweet melodic voice. "I'm a monster." She added bitterly before leaving.

That's when I looked around at my surroundings. It was the spot I took her to. The forest where we laid in the cold night. Where we fed off each other's body heat.

The one where I found the R loves S and thought it was a hint. Well, today proved that it wasn't at all real. That I hadn't found a perfect mate.

Soon, I drifted out of the dream and into sleep.

Sapphire's P.O.V

I kneeled up from the side of the couch Ryder slept on peacefully. Tears started to fall down my cheeks. He slept on his office couch just to avoid me. I couldn't deny the hurt I felt. Again, it wouldn't beat the pain I had inflicted on him.

The only line going through my head now was he hates me... He hated me... He hates me... I used my demon powers to bring him into a dream where I could freely tell him how I felt. He's going to think it's just a dream, Gwen said bitterly. I touched my lips. My last kiss with Ryder had happened in a dream I had set up. I shook my head, how pathetic.

"I love you. You know that right?" I whispered before placing a soft kiss on his forehead. I looked at his lips. They looked so inviting but I forced myself to look away from them. If I kissed his lips, he would wake up and I would be in deep shit.

I stood up, staring at him longingly. Now that it was time to leave, it seemed harder than I thought it would be. I covered my mouth to cover the sob that was threatening to come out. I took a deep breath, calming down and looked at him, for the last time. "I'm sorry, Ryder. I'll always love you," I murmured, taking a deep breath, I said the last sentence that made double the tears escape my eyes, "goodbye."

With that I exited his office and closed the door behind me quietly.

"You ready?" Clover's quiet voice asked. I nodded my head at her. Although it was dark, I knew she had detected my movement. "Are you sure you want to come? You won't miss anything?" She made no moves to acknowledge my words. "Clover, life gets harder as soon as we step out of the borderline." I mumbled. "I'm leaving with the only person who have cared about me. Is that hard to believe? And I'm not the one to chicken out of anything." I could just hear the smirk in her voice. "Thanks. You are the best." I hugged her tightly. "Second best next to Ryder." She muttered. I pretended to not hear the statement. I needed all the concentration I could conjure to escape this place. The security here is tight.

"Come on." She tugged my hand and we sneaked around the house as quiet as a mouse.

We blocked our scent as soon as we exited the house. "Who's there?" I heard a voice growl. I froze. Shit, we were out in the open. I spotted a bush nearby us. I tugged Clover as we hid behind it. The guy on patrol didn't spot us and assumed he was hallucinating. "Geez, he should have checked every inch before moving on." Clover muttered. "Yeah, because that would turn out well for us." I snorted as we continued to move.

"Finally, the borderline." Clover breathed. "Clover."I hissed and tugged her behind another bush. "Who's that? Jasper! I think I heard somebody here!" I heard more footsteps. Shit. "Is it a bunny or something?" A guy asked. "Rabbits wouldn't make that much a noise." A guy snorted. He sounded like a dying whale. "Let's check. Let's hope it's not rogues. The Alpha would kill us." A third voice piped up. Flashlights steed flashing around. "Our soon to be Luna would keep him in control. She has a good kind of affect on him." The first guy said. "I heard they got into a fight today. Don't know if they made up or anything." The third guy muttered. "Make up sex always makes everything better." The second guy laughed. I nearly leaped out from the bush to pound his head in. A headless werewolf, I would've died to see it. "Not all guys are sex addicts like you." The first guy grumbled. "There's nothing here. Come on, enough gossiping like girls and continue patrolling. It might have been the wind." The third guy said. The others grunted in agreement and left. "Sexist douchebags." Clover grumbled. We stood up, stretching from squatting down too long. "This is it Clover. There's still a chance to turn back." I teased. "Never. Friendships are forever." Clover said dramatically. We both stepped over the border lines together with our luggage in hand.

Goodbye, Ryder Black. I'll never forget you.

"I'm dying..." Clover whined and attempting to make me smile. We've been walking nonstop for three hours. Even white wolves tires.

"Okay. Well rest a bit. Well almost at the city though." I gave her a small smile. She nodded and gulped some water down. "I wonder how hectic it is at the pack house." Clover wondered aloud, sitting beside me under the shade of a large tree. "It won't be. He probably doesn't even misses me." I frowned. "Are you crazy? Of course he does. People don't fall out of love that fast." Clover shook her head. "They probably don't even know we're gone." I mumbled. "Sure they do." Clover snorted. I pulled out a granola bar out of my bag and handed it to her. "Thanks. When did you get this?" Her eyes lit up as she tore the wrapper away. "While we ere sneaking past the kitchen." I muttered, keeping my eyes on the dead twig I had found interesting.

She stood up suddenly. "Okay, that's enough!" I snapped out of the attractiveness i found on the twig and raised an eyebrow at her, "what do you mean?" "I know you miss Ryder badly. But you being a sour puss won't help anything." She jutted out a hip. "I'm not a sour puss." I protested. Sure you aren't, Drew tsked. I mentally gave her my death glare. Clover snorted in reply. "Okay, fine. Maybe a little." She gave me a flat look. "As I said, just a little. I'm sorry. But I'll try to get over it as soon as possible." I emphasised on little. "That'll take forever." Clover sighed and gave me a small smile. "No it won't." I retorted as we both stood up and continued our journey.

But somehow, deep inside, I knew that she was right.

"Finally. The city!" Clover squealed, earning a few strange stares from passerbys. "Clover. Don't draw attention."I hissed. "Sorry." She stuck out her tongue sheepishly.

"Let's go find a place to live." I muttered. All at once a flyer flew in the air and landed on the ground near us. I made no move to acknowledge it but the big letters in neon pink caught my attention. I picked the flyer up excitedly. It's like fate was on our side today. "Look Clover, a small apartment for rent." I grinned. "Great luck is bestowed upon us. Thank you Lord." She yelled. "Kids just get weirder and weirder each day." An old woman passing us muttered. Unfortunately, my sharp hearing caught it. "Stop it Clover, stop being so excited." I groaned. "I can't help it. I've always wanted to come." She bounced in excitement. "I wish I could say that I don't worry about you, but it obviously is a lie." I sighed dramatically. "Hey." She punched my arm. "Glad to see that I got your attention, let's go make a phone call, shall we?" I smiled and she nodded. She still has that kid in a candy store expression on, at least she isn't bouncing around like a ball.

"Hello. I'm calling about renting the apartment?" I said as politely as I could. Clover snorted and I glared at her playfully. "Mr Remir. Yeah. Umm... JustCoffee? Now? Sure. Thanks." I smiled and hung up. "Did we get it?" Clover asked with a hopeful expression. "Yes. We just need to sign an agreement at a cafe called JustCoffee after seeing the apartment, come on then." I smiled as Clover beamed at the good news.

The funny thing was... The cafe was right around the corner. I couldn't help but think that something was wrong. First the flyer, then the quick agreement and the close cafe. It was like it was planned our perfectly. It's just a coincidence, I told myself forcefully. I entered the cafe and my eyes shot to a man with a brown file on the table. He was sipping on a cup of coffee.

"Umm... Are you Mr. Remir?" I asked politely. "Ahh... You are the girl who called, yes?" He asked excitedly. Too excited for normal. I pushed the suspicion to the back of my head. "Yes. That's me. I'm Sapphire Jackson. This is my friend." I smile and gestured to Clover.

"Have a seat. Have a seat." He smiled widely. I sat down and Clover sat beside me. "These are the papers to the apartment. I'll bring you to see it later, yes?" He grinned. "Yeah. That would be nice." I tried to suspress the shudder at the sight of food stuck between his teeth. Yuck!

We started to talk about the rent and how the money would be delivered and stuff. We soon sorted everything out.

"Come. We'll go see the apartment." He said standing up and we followed. We walked on and on. We soon stopped in front of a well kept apartment building. "It's on the 3rd floor." He smiled widely, once again showing off his disgusting teeth. We walked to the third door on the right. He unlocked it with a set of keys. We stepped into the apartment. There's already toiletries and cutleries. Even matresses and bed sheets were available. There's a 40 inch plasma tv and a couch. Two bedrooms, a toilet and a small kitchen... Not bad at all...

"Ahh.. I guess people would like everything prepared for them." The man in his forties rubbed his bald head. "It's perfect. Absolutely perfect. 400 a month right?" I asked, turning to the man. "Yup." He smiled. "Okay. Where do I sign?" Me and Mr Remir, Jason I had learnt, talked about the renting while Clover decided to ponder which room she was going to call dibs on. I smiled and he placed the documents in front of me. I picked up his grey pen and signed. I don't know why, but the pen caught my attention. It somehow looked familiar. I was so caught on it that I hadn't even notice Jason had already collected the documents and shoved them into a manila folder.

"Thank you. This is your set of documents. I hope you'll have a nice stay. Have a nice day!" He waved and exited the apartment with the documents, not before giving me the keys. Clover and I squealed. "This is totally good luck!" Clover yelled and I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Oh, and I call dibs on the room near the bathroom." Clover grinned. "Sure. And you'll find a way to hog the bathroom every morning." I rolled my eyes playfully. "You know me too well bestie." She grinned and threw an arm around my shoulder.

"What are you waiting for? Go unpack and we'll watch some movies. Let's have a movie marathon!" Clover ran to her room. "Just to let you know, I'm not going out to get cds!" I mumbled and followed her to the door of her new room. "I already have some movies! Just unpack!" She yelled and slammed the door in my face. I flinched. I seriously worry for that girl... I sighed and ran a hand through my blonde hair. New environment, new life.

A life without Ryder.... something whispered in my mind.

I had finished unpacking my bags in 15 minutes. What? I hate cleaning. And when I mean unpack, I actually mean stuff-everything-you-own-into-the-wardrobe. That's just the typical Sapphire that does typical things. Yes people, I'm just that cool. *insert bitchy hairflip here*

I sat on the couch, blankly staring at the black screen. "Yay! It's time for girls time!" Clover whooped and inserted a cd. "You are... excited." I stated, smiling a little. "Of course I am... We aren't usually allowed so far from the pack. Now I'm here freely and with a friend. I just... I can't wrap it around my head that I'm actually here!" She gushed and I let out a chuckle. "Ok ok. Excited mode on, got it." I smiled and she winked. "So... what did you put on?" I asked, changing the subject. "Home alone 3." She grinned. "I love that movie. I absolutely love the kid's prank." I giggled. "I know right. I thought that we could watch something that can actually cheer us up." She smiled. "Yeah. Cheer us up..." I repeated. But inside, I don't think this movie will help. I don't think my heart will heal anytime soon. Maybe forever. How much Ryder would be hurting right now... I was the one who had a reason to reject him and my heart was breaking. Ryder didn't do anything and was completely innocent. How badly hurt would he be right now...

"Hey. You had a reason to do this. It's actually for his own good." Clover came over and shook my shoulders, obviously noticing my mood that had went down hill. "How about you? What did I even do good enough for you to let me rip you from your life before?" I shot back. "I didn't have a life before this. Well, before I met such an awesome friend like you." She chuckled humourlessly. "Seriously Clover. What if Lawrence regrets the decision and wants you back. Won't you want to be there?" I looked at her. For once since this morning, sadness flickered across those gorgeous eyes. "He's a player Sapph. When that happens is the day where you will forget about Ryder." She muttered. She used a really good example. "No, people change. You have to at least give it a try." I stared at her. "I guess you're right, but it's already too late for that." She smiled sadly and her eyes flickered back to where the movie was playing.

"No." I stood up and paused the movie. She raised an eyebrow at me. "It's not too late. You can still go back." I stated. "What? No! Are you kidding me?!" She stood up and ran a hand through her red hair. "Clover, listen!" I yelled, successfully shutting her up. I took a deep breath, calming myself. "I don't want you to stay here. When I was 5, I killed my mother, when I haven't fully Changed. To this day, I regret it. What if it happened to you? And this time im becoming stronger. Clover, I would fucking blame myself to my grave. That just explains how much I care for you. There is a reason why I left. I wanted to be alone. I want to hide from people. But you, Clover, you are stopping me from doing that." I stared into her eyes, letting her see the emotions in me.

"I know. But... I can't leave you. You're my friend, it's not right." She whispered. "If you are my friend, you'll leave. And at least letting me know that you're safe." I mumbled. "What about the Changing? Can you even be alone?" Clover asked worriedly. "I want to be alone Clover. That's the whole point of leaving." I chuckled humourlessly.

"Fine... I'll... I'll leave." She sighed. I looked at her to give her a reassuring smile. "You have to take care of yourself, got it?" She placed a hand on my arm and I nodded gratefully. "I'll leave tomorrow. But, what if they don't want to accept me back into the pack?" Clover looked down at her hands. "Then come back here, after 5 days. After the Changing. When it's safe." I nodded. "Okay." She smiled.

"Now let's watch the movie and enjoy whatever time we have left." I pressed the play button and the movie resumed. Clover nodded and the television soon snagged both our attention.

And that day was filled with laughter. All because of some awesome pranks from a movie.