Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book novel Chapter 115

“Be quiet. You don’t belong among my kind, you never have, and it’s become tiresome to protect you against others. You can be of more use with my daughter and her babies than constantly watching your back and shadowing Darrius. I believe it’s where fate always intended to put you. To protect my blood in place of me.” Varro turns to him and heavily places a hand on his shoulder, his aura emanating sheer authority. It’s clear he doesn’t like to be questioned.

“You want me to live among those that took everything from me?” Jasper almost spits it at him and winces at the pressure applied on his shoulder as punishment. I get the vibe you don’t question or disobey this one at all.

My heart aches for my brother though, knowing that at the root of his resistance is an inability to let go of his own pain. With good reason. Being all alone among their kind for a decade with only Varro as his source of comfort. To have someone spurring on your sadness with their own. Torn form his own kind for survival and left to fester and forget what it is t be part of a pack. Both so focused on revenge and he knows nothing else. I get it, I understand, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. My soul still hurts at his venomous words.

“No, he doesn’t. because those who took it all will leave with him. The rest of the pack has nothing to do with this, they didn’t know…. Carmen has nothing to do with this. The fates would never have linked her to you if they wanted it like this.” I point out, reaching for my brother’s hand in a bid to draw him to me but he pulls it away to avoid me. Another cold glare and a show of amber eyes.

“You need to come back to living as a wolf to be able to move on and heal. Jasper, the pack you knew back then isn’t the pack you’re hating now. So much has happened and changed. Just give us a chance. Take time to see for yourself that it’s not the same as it was.” Colton moves close behind me to try and reinforce my sentiment. His genuine need to bring him back into the fold and accept a pack member who has gone astray. The alpha in him will always fight to bring our kind home.

“Whether you agree or not, I am ordering you to stay by your sister’s side until I see fit. Protect my child…. Be my eyes and presence. Refusal is pointless.” Varro interjects. “This war ends tonight and no one but you will be left to stand and fight if you don’t give a little. My goal was always revenge, but before me stands a reason to stop all of it. A future beyond this battle. I can’t win if I lose my daughter to satisfy my need for revenge.”

His words make me falter within myself, a sudden thump to my chest as I blink at Varro, suddenly seeing something else in him with just the briefest of words. I have pushed down and tried to ignore any feelings I might harbor for this stranger, because it’s a can of worms I don’t want to examine. Yet here in a blink of an eye, the fact he is my father is staring me in the face and I’m too afraid to really let those emotions break the surface. I don’t know how to process them when I really have never gotten to grips with the fact the dad I knew, was never my bio dad at all. Caged feelings, swirling thoughts, all swallowed as quickly as they surface so I can ignore them until I feel able to really explore all of it. My heart says it’s a betrayal to my dad to have affection for Varro in his place right now and I’m so confused with what I’m experiencing.

A weird buzzing noise running through us, like loud static, suddenly hits us from behind and sways all thoughts from that point. It ripples through in a dramatic fashion, making my skin goosebump and my hackles rise. Pulling all focus away from conversations and one another as we all stop, spin our heads, to see what and where it came from. It’s a sensation like standing on a metal floor when lighting hits a building outside, the after vibrations of intense electricity tickling my skin.

“What was that?” I utter breathlessly, turning to see that our pack wolves have been affected too and are looking around with the same confused curiosity. It wasn’t painful, just something we all felt, and it seems to have moved like a wave across the sea of figures.

“The weapon…. It’s disabled. I can feel a difference. My ability to link is back.” Colton touches my shoulder and we both glance at the manor, in the direction of Carmen as a smile spreads across my face. Instant elation. I know that the Colton immediately jumps to link the subpack to bring them up to speed.

“Yay, Carmen!! I knew she could do it. I mean, we maybe don’t need it now, but still ….. my girl has skills.” I can’t conceal my pride in my sister and suddenly become aware of Jaspers eyes eating into the back of my skull and his emotion changing with the mention of her name. It’s a loaded and heavy feeling, swirling confusion and pain, and for a second, a pang in my heart tells me Jasper is already pining for the mate he refused. He’s fighting himself and I know from experience how much worse every passing day gets when your mate is separated from you by choice. His own stupid, stubborn, hate, is stopping him from opening his heart. It’s eating at him with just the sound of her name.

“I give my word that the vampires will not use our weapon against wolves as long as I rule my coven from this moment on. My oath is unbreakable, I swear on it. There is no need for your countermeasures after tonight. The weapon can be turned off.” Varro’s statement is clear and strong, and my gut says it’s truth. I falter in my response, take a breath, and decide for one to trust my gut and believe the words. He’s very to the point.

“So, I guess all that’s left now is for us to deliver Juan, right?” I point out, pushing away every other detail and focusing on making this end to our fight a done deal. I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel, even if this all feels surreal. Just get the details in order and we can all go home. Take the steps, ignore all the emotional issues.

“Right. Maybe Jasper will more appeased if he personally hunts down that problem, and his men. Would that kill some of this hatred in you?” Colton steps towards him and is met with the instant glow of ambering eyes, telling him to back off out of his space. Jasper’s bristling for a fight, even if it’s misdirected at my mate.

“You underestimate what is needed to curb my hatred of Santo. Maybe if you and I ….” Jasper snarls and I step between them in haste. I know where that tone is heading and Colton is evenly matched in fiery temper and willingness to fight when coerced.

“Enough!” I push Colton back, knowing he’s the less volatile of the two and the one I trust not to react to my force in any kind of anger. He obeys with a step back but places a hand on the small of my back and grasps my waistband. It’s his way of saying he’ll haul my ass out of the way should he dislike Jasper’s attitude towards me. “Jasper, please. Just go do whatever. Expend some of that energy and anger in finding the real enemy. We don’t have the energy for this.” It’s almost a pleading request.

“I agree. Jasper, take several with you and go find every last one of those mongrels. Juan Santo and the loyal that will be cowering with him wherever they are hiding. I’m bored and want to wrap this up and enjoy my evening in a more sociable manner.” Varro sighs as though to emphasize the pint, and I find it a little amusing, in a weird way.

“I’m going too!” Sierra’s unexpected voice rings clear in the night air and disrupts our circle. Her bold march pushing us apart naturally as she invades the space and she furiously glares me brother down so that he’s the one to actually step back and lower his chin, avoiding her direct gaze. It dawns on me that this was once his Luna, and he fought in war alongside her.

He may be consumed with feelings of the negative against many wolves here, but in the face of a femme he respected, protected, and knew as his mothers best friend, everything shifts around us. “You!…..” Sierra points right up at his nose, a tone much like our mom’s when she was mad at us, a look of fierce and a tone that is one hundred percent momma wolf in battle mode. “Your mom would be so mad at you right now, you know that, huh? Don’t even get me started, young man. You’re going to come with me and find that son of a bitch, and then you’re going to put that damn tail between your legs and take a time out to reflect on yourself and everything muddled in that thick skull. You need a time out in the solitude chair, to get things in order!” Sierra taps him on the temple with a little aggression that startles him, and my mouth drops open at this unexpected interaction. The solitude chair was our kindergarten time out for when we misbehaved. Varro smirks and turns away as though making it clear he has no issue with his pet wolf being scolded in this manner and I have to swallow a snort of laughter at Sierra reverting to the woman who used to visit us and read stories to wayward pups.

“Luna…I …” Jasper completely caves, almost like that little wolf who hated being told off. Submission flowing from him at alarming speed, and he hunches his shoulders further as his nose almost touches his chest. That ingrained part of a wolf when faced with the hierarchy he grew up following. I never thought Sierra could have this kind of effect on him.

“Luna, nothing! I understand. Your pain, your heartbreak, and your anger. Look at me…… Alora and I, we both understand the level of betrayal and hurt. We know what the heartbreak does to your soul. You’re not alone in that. You have become so accustomed to holding onto it to fill your emptiness, away from your kind and your family. No direction, cut off, cast out, which is pure hell for a Lychan. Your loneliness is infused through you in the worst kind of ways and it’s seeping from every pore so that I can feel it. Come home to us, Jasper. Where you belong. You don’t need to forget, or let it go right now, you just need to take the first small step towards us and know that I won’t let you be hurt ever again. I failed you… I failed her; I failed my promise to keep her little ones safe. If you want to blame anyone then blame me for not being strong enough….. hate Juan, blame his greed, but don’t blame those who love you and are offering you a way back. You won’t heal without us, don’t throw away the chance of a future that can be happy again, for one day of bloodshed and regret. ”

There’s heavy silence as she reaches up and traces a single symbolic tear that escapes his eye and rolls down his cheek. He coughs to try and cover it, tries to pull back that hardened glare to shield the emotion she tugged from him. I see it all so clearly. That teen boy I knew, the loving brother, the shy awkward wolf who protected me so fiercely; he’s still in there and battling so many internal conflicts. She dries it away with a gentle touch, a slight blue glow leaving a faint shadow as her finger moves and it seeps into his soul. Her healing touch, her balm, infused with her careful words. I know how powerful that combination can be in times of major distress.

Colton shifts restlessly behind me, unsure what’s happening and pulls me against his chest. Varro raises a brow and cocks his head to the side as Jasper lifts his chin slightly and dares to look Sierra in the eye for the first time. Probably the first time in his life, given when she was Luna we were never allowed.