The Arranged Bride novel Chapter 33

Nick's POV

I parked the car in front of our house. Looking at Sophia, I found her staring off into the space. Getting out of the car I came to her side. I opened the door for her and that's when she noticed that we were home.

She looked at me blankly before placed her shaky legs out of the car . I instinctively placed a hand around her waist to steady her.

" Do you want me to carry you?" I wanted to carry her inside but I didn't know if she would be triggered by sudden touch. I questioned her because I didn't want to upset her by doing something against her wish . She gently shook her head .

" I'll walk ." Saying this she started taking small steps. I matched her pace , supporting her all the way to our room.

Without saying anything, she went inside the bathroom . After a minute I heard the shower start.

I stood there watching the closed bathroom door . There was an unknown uneasy feeling in my heart. It was like something heavy was placed on my chest but I couldn't trace it.

I went to take a shower in another room. After some twenty minutes when I returned, she was sitting on the bed looking at nothing in particular. She looked so scared. If anything, the uneasiness inside me increased on seeing her like this. I closed my eyes , took a deep breath and sat down on the bed beside her. There was dead silence in the room. As I placed a hand on her knee , she visibly flinched. I was hurt by her action but I knew that she was a bit traumatized. I withdrew my hand and carefully observed her.

I took out the antiseptic lotion from the adjacent drawer. As I was applying it on her bruises , water drops trickled down her cheeks to my fingers. I looked at Sophia to see her eyes clenched shut while tears rolled down.

" Are the bruises hurting ?" I worriedly asked. She shook her head in negative. She opened her eyes but didn't look at me.

" Sophia." I called softly but she didn't respond. Her eyes were trained on her lap.

" Look at me , please." I pleaded even more gently . She hesitantly looked up at me.

" What's it ?" I gently held her hand and squeezed it gently.

" I - I feel d-dirty." She stuttered and looked down. I frowned, not understanding what she said but then the realisation hit me hard. She was feeling dirty because of that ugly encounter. It was like something sharp was stabbed into my chest. I was the one who was supposed to protect her but I couldn't. It was all my fault. The guilt added to the weight in my heart.

I placed my fingers under her chin and lifted her face . She looked so vulnerable and scared. Her eyes showed the despair and insecurity of her heart. Tears that were clouding those beautiful grey eyes , that I have come to love so much were now flowing down. Using my thumb , I wiped those tears and stared at her face before taking her in a gentle kiss.

I slowly and softly moved my lips against her in an attempt to comfort her, to mentally support her , to make her feel better. The vulnerability in her gaze was paining me. I wanted to kiss away that painful expression.

She softly kissed back while gently gripping my hair. She leaned into me , accepting the comfort I was trying to offering. I didn't deepen the kiss because I wanted to be as gentle with her as possible.

Pulling back , I brushed my thumb on her cheek. Her eyes were closed and her one hand was still in my hair while the other rested on my hand, on her cheek.

"Make love to me." Sophia blurted. My eyes widened at her statement. I pulled away and carefully looked at her . I wasn't sure if I heard correctly.

" What ?" I dumbly stared at her. She took a deep breath, as if to calm herself, to prepare herself to speak.

" Take away those touches, make me forget the feeling of their hands on my body. Make me yours." She stared into my eyes , showing how serious she was. I sighed.

" Sophia, I can't make love to you." As soon as the words settled in her mind , her expression changed to one of hurt.

" W-why ? Are you- are you disgusted with me?" She was once again on the verge of tears. I was shocked at what she said. She thought that I refused to make love to her because I was disgusted with her. How could she even think of something like that? I dragged myself closer to her.

" No baby, not at all. I can never be disgusted with you. But I can't make love to you now when you are so vulnerable and upset. I want our first time to be special , I want it to be beautiful. " I calmly explained while rubbing circles at the back of her hands. She seemed to understand and looked down.

" But I can definitely make you forget those touches." I leaned forward to kiss her eyes , then her nose and the corner of her mouth . I proceeded to kiss her jaws and then dragged my lips to her neck. I felt her shiver everytime I kissed. Planting a soft kiss there, I moved further down. I kissed every portion of her body to provide the comfort, she was looking for. Finally I went up and captured her mouth in another long, passionate kiss , conveying my feelings, asking for forgiveness for not being able to protect her . I gently pulled her on to my lap and encircled my hands around her waist. She matched my fervour and kissed back passionately. After what felt like hours , I pulled back and rested my forehead against her's.

" One more thing , I don't need to make you mine. You already are mine. " I spoke , my breath caressing her lips. I felt her gently nodding .

" Come , let's sleep." I suggested and she agreed. Just as I switched off the lights , I felt Sophia grabbing my hand tightly. I squeezed it back to give some kind of assurance. I covered ourselves with the duvet and pulled her closer to me, her side against my chest . Gently kissing her shoulder, I placed my head there .

She was tightly holding my hand, that was around her waist. I stroke her hair to make her relax.

" Sleep. I am there." This seemed to work , as she visibly relaxed against my body. When her breathing became even, I knew that she was asleep. I scooted even closer to her.

I realised that this closeness wasn't only helping her but me as well. Holding her so close was assuring me that , she was with me , she was safe and fine.