The Female Alpha’s Sanctuary novel Chapter 85

Chapter 85
“Definitely.”
Instant. Heat.
My face flushed, my body overheating from that one word. The slight smirk on his face widening as he turned on his heel to leave. The smugness in his aura going out full blast. I could almost see a tail swaying back and forth in arrogance. It was only until Opal’s voice sending Raizel off was heard and the front door of the mansion shut did the two eager witnesses start to ambush me.
“Are you and Alpha Locksworth engaging in a sinful relationship?”
“So much for ‘not being involved”.”
I look between them, unsure if I should feel embarrassed or mortified by the two. To their delight, I feel both at the same time. Elizabeth was the one to make the insinuation that Raizel and I were f uck buddies, watched me with eyes fit for a hawk’s. She watched every little movement I made to see if I would try lying and of course, I wasn’t going to. There would be no point.
“Elizabeth, no. We aren’t f uck buddies. Like I said before, we just met. Though…”
I peek over to them, trying not to mind the pink hue dusting over my
cheeks.
“-I admit I’m interested. But I won’t act on it. I know he has a mate somewhere, and I am most definitely not going to interfere with something as sacred as that for my own selfishness.”
Sudden memories of Landon and Hestia infiltrated in my mind and I almost scowl. As long as four years.was, the betrayal was still fresh in my mind. I could care less about the fact that Landon wasn’t mine. It had hurt, yes. But I got over it: The only thing I couldn’t ignore was the fact he abandoned a pack. He abandoned the pack he had an alliance with. Mercilessly allowed them to suffer when he could’ve helped to prevent it. Not to mention, he abandoned a pack member. Even if he didn’t want me as a mate, I was still a member in his pack. I was still tied to them as they were tied to me.
The loyalty that was supposed to be there was omitted.
They chose to turn their back on me, and I couldn’t help but think it was all my fault.
Maybe they were so desperate to get rid of me that they decided to allow Duskfall to perish.
Maybe the reason they didn’t help was because I was there.
Maybe they were cruel enough to sacrifice hundreds of lives as long as it guaranteed my death.
My fists clenched tightly, my wolf growling in my mind as our anger combined. For years I had tormented myself with that thought. The thought that their deaths were on my hands as much as they were in Nightwake’s. Maybe it was my fault that they got involved. With that running in my mind and having to see Isaac’s face everyday that reminded me so much of Bentley’s, I was so close to losing my sanity.
The guilt and shame so overbearing it almost consumed me whole and drove me off to a darker path.
It took a slap to the face and a thorough scolding from Meredith to understand that it wasn’t my fault.
It wasn’t my fault Nightwake was cruel, it wasn’t my fault the rogues were evil, it wasn’t my fault Duskfall had fallen.
It was theirs..
It was ‘that ungrateful f uc ker who couldn’t keep his di ck in his pants” fault.
I was just an unlucky pawn that got involved was all.
And now there was Raizel.
The man who stirred both my wolf and heart like no other.
I knew that it was strange to feel so attached to a man I barely met for twenty-four hours. It was unexplainable. The moment i met him there just this connection. A connection that went beyond any form of logic I could think of. A connection that even my wolf acknowledged. Second chance mates were rare. And typically, people who had a deceased mate were the ones who got them. I never heard of a rejected mate getting a new one.
Then there’s the topic of Raizel having a mate.
From the time he first became an Alpha at a young age, the spotlight was always on him. Granted, not one was close enough to him to really get any info and the fact that he strayed away from social events definitely didn’t help anyone get a better idea of who he was. But never did the topic of his mate get brought up.
It was possible his mate had passed and it was also possible he hadn’t met his mate yet.
But the mutual attraction between us was strange.
Was it all just lust-ridden?
The sacred pool had already declared us as not mates so why were our wolves responding so well to one another?
I pondered for a bit, knowing I wasn’t going to get an answer but couldn’t help myself to.
“He doesn’t have a mate.”
My eyes snap to Williams who sat there with a vacant look in his eyes. A small frown on his face as he stared at me silently.
“His mate passed?”
I ask quietly. My wolf went silent, not sure how to feel about the situation. She knew how much it hurt to lose a mate but she didn’t know how much it hurt to lose a mate. A mate that actually loved her and returned her affections. Landon and I never established any kind of relationship like that, so our loss wasn’t that much of a big deal anymore.