The Player novel Chapter 27

Brielle

3:23 PM

Today could not have gone by any slower.

After Christopher and I's conversation, I wanted nothing more than to climb under a rock and forget that the past few days ever existed. But instead, I picked myself up by my bootstraps and persevered because things were going to get better, right?

Wrong.

The entire day I could feel everyone's eyes on me, and Melanie did nothing but add fuel to the fire. She made sure to inform everyone who was unaware of what happened not only between Derrick and I, but between me and Christopher as well. Before the end of the day, multiple rumors that I had leaked the photos myself to capture Christopher's attention surfaced.

I wanted to be angry at Melanie so badly, but I couldn't. I couldn't feel anything at all. From everything that I had been through, I had just gone completely numb.

Somehow, the feeling was comforting. The stares aimed at me might has well have not existed. My mind was blank and so were my emotions. Some may say that it is an unhealthy way to cope, but I would take this over the constant ache of my heart breaking any day.

Throughout the day I felt Sam get more and more worried for me, but I couldn't do anything to reassure her that I was okay, because, I wasn't. I don't think that I will ever be okay, and that thought alone frightened me to no end. I felt like a broken glass doll, shattered into a million pieces. No matter how hard I tried, I was irreparably damaged.

When I got home, I went straight to my room, and I haven't left since. I couldn't face anyone right now, especially not Scott. At first, I was holding out hope that he didn't find out about the pictures, but after today, the chances were slim to none.

Not only was I too mad to see him after knowing that he knew that Christopher was using me and didn't tell me, but I was ashamed. Ashamed that somehow his innocent vision that he had of me was broken. I was afraid of how disgusted he would be about me. A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts.

"Go away," I groaned, pressing my head into my pillow. The door opened anyway despite my request. Scott crept into my room slowly, as if he was walking on eggshells. He might as well have been.

"Are you okay Brielle?" he asked, sitting down beside me. I sat up from my current fetal position, meeting him face to face. "Please Scott, just go away."

Once again, he ignored me. "Look, I know that you're still mad at me, but I heard about what happened."

I closed my eyes, rubbing at my temples. He knew. "I'm fine Scott. Now please, leave." I clipped.

He scoffed. "BS. I know you. Now tell me how you truly feel or else I'm not leaving this room." He leaned back on his arms, getting comfortable. "I can wait all day."

I contemplated yelling at him to leave, but deep down I realized that I would like to talk to him. I cared about what he thought of me, and what hurt the most out of the entire situation is my fear of what he would think of me. I also needed to know why he hid the information about Christopher from me if I was ever going to move on.

After a huge sigh, I finally opened up. "I feel a little weird,"' I guessed. "Like I'm constantly exposed in a way."

He nodded his head, seeming to understand what I meant. "I get that, I would feel that way too."

It felt good to know that he understood how I felt. "I just feel really ashamed and embarrassed that I took those pictures." I paused, contemplating on if I should include the next part. After a moment's hesitation, I added it in.

"I felt a little nervous too."

His eyebrows scrunched up. "Why?"

"I guess I was nervous on how you would react." I said shyly. "I've always been the innocent little sister to you, and I knew that it would change that.

I guess I could handle everyone at school seeing and treating me different, but I couldn't handle if you did."

"Oh, Brielle," he said, pulling me into a hug. "You know that I will always see you as my little sister. Nothing will ever change that."

I smiled, wiping a stray tear from my eye. "Really?"

He held out his pinkie finger. "Promise." I wrapped my finger around his.

"Did you know that he was going to leak the pictures?"

I guiltily nodded my head. "He's been blackmailing me with them ever since we broke up."

"It's been almost two years!" he cried.

"I know! I thought I had it all under control, but obviously I was wrong." He placed his head in his lap while running his hand through his coffee-colored hair, obviously stressed.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you. And I thought that if I said something you would make it worse."

He nodded his head. "I have a tendency to do that." He said softly.

"You sure do."

After a few moments of silence, I finally posed the question that had been bugging me to no end.

"Why didn't you tell me about Christopher?" I asked cautiously.

A remnant of hesitation passed through his eyes, as if he was considering whether to answer my question or run and hide. He seemed to choose the former.

"Same as you," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"What I did to Nicole was..."

"Awful." I finished.

He let out a soft laugh. "Exactly. If not, worse. I was ashamed of what I did. You always saw me as the good guy, your brave knight, and I wanted to keep it that way. So, I kept it secret.

I tried to warn you that he was using you, but I knew that if I told you the reason why you would find out about what I did to Nicole. So, I kept my mouth shut. After seeing how happy you were with him, I convinced myself that I was doing you a favor by not telling you."

"You were doing me a favor by allowing him to use me?" I snapped, suddenly aggravated.

"I know, it was stupid, but it was easier to believe that than to tell you the truth about me."

As much as I wanted to be mad at him, after today, I knew how he felt. When everyone sees you a certain way, sometimes it's comforting to know that those closes to you don't. If I could do anything to keep Scott from finding out about the pictures, I would.

"Why did you do it in the first place?" Nicole was a nice girl and didn't deserve to get sucked in the middle of their feud. I was more concerned that Scott would do something as cruel as break up with someone after their parents died just because of a petty fight.

He locked eyes with me, suddenly dead serious. "You need to believe me when I say that I had no idea that her parents died. I admit that I broke up with her to get back at Christopher, but if I knew about what happened, I would have never done that.

I tried to tell her that, but Christopher wouldn't even let me get within fifty feet of her and she blocked my number. After a while without any luck, I just stopped trying."

"Well you need to tell her this, because the last time I talked to her she was under the impression that you did it on purpose."

"I know, that's why I talked to her yesterday." My eyes grew wide, unable to hide my surprise.

"You did what?"

He shrugged casually. "She was leaving the house when I was coming back from practice. I asked her if we could talk for a minute and she said yes."

"So, what did you say?" I said, my interest suddenly piqued.

"I told her how sorry I was and that I had no clue about her parents, and that it still was no excuse for what I did."

"And..."

"And we talked. For a long time. She told me how she felt when I did it and," he rubbed his eyes, obviously distraught. "I really screwed up, Brielle." His voice cracked.

"I had no clue how much I hurt her. I feel like a monster for all the hurt that I caused." This time I pulled him into a hug, comforting him.

"What matters is that you know that what you did was wrong, and you won't do it again. Don't be so hard on myself."

He nodded his head, trying to convince himself. "She said that she forgave me. But, I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself." He turned his gaze from his shoes to me. "And I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you."

Looking at him, I realized how early it would be to hold a grudge, to make him pay for all the hurt that he could have prevented me. But after this conversation, I realized that he had more than enough to feel guilty about. We were both just two kids who didn't understand each other or ourselves. And because of that, we were all destined to make mistakes. And as long as we were learning from them, then all could be forgiven.

And besides, he was beating himself up ten times more than I ever could.

"What you did was pretty messed up, but since I'm such an amazing, caring sister, I'll forgive you."

A blinding smile stretched across his face. "Really?"

"Yup," I said. "But only if you say that I am the bestest sister in the world and the superior sibling."

He rolled his eyes. "You wish."

"On second thought," I said sarcastically. "I'm starting to feel a lot angrier. Like the kind of anger that makes me hold grudges..."

"Ok!" he said, raising his hands in protest. "You are the bestest sister in the world and the superior sibling."

"What was that?" I mocked.

He huffed in fake frustration. "You are the bestest sister in the world and the superior sibling! Everything that I do pales to you O' wise one!" He yelled this time, unable to hold back his smile.

I burst into a fit of giggles for what felt like the first time in a year. "Much better."

The two of us laughing in my room reminded me of a simpler time. One without conniving boyfriends and black-mailing exes. A time when our biggest problems were who we were going to sit next to at lunch. The thought of it made me smile.

"Are you excited for the showcase on Saturday?" Scott asked after a few minutes of casual conversation. My eyes grew wide at the mention of it. With everything going on, I had completely forgot.

"Shoot!" I said, suddenly frantic. "Christopher's my partner! If I don't dance with him then Ms. Riley won't let me perform, and the Joffrey scouts won't see me, and I'll have no chance of going to their ballet school!"

Scott seemed to be just as riled up as I was, "You can't dance with that jerk!" He exclaimed, his body visibly tensing up.

"Trust me, I know." I chewed on my finger nails, trying to think. "I'll figure something out."

"Maybe you could just explain to Ms. Riley what happened?"

I laughed. "If I told her that I couldn't dance with him because we broke up, she would strangle me with my pointe shoes for being unprofessional." The thought of it made me shudder. While Ms. Riley was short, she sure was feisty. I wouldn't put murder past her.

"Maybe he won't show up, then it wouldn't be your fault."

I shook the thought out of my mind. I didn't even want to think about what would happen if I didn't perform. I could kiss my dreams at Joffrey goodbye.

"I'm just going to wait until Saturday to worry," I said, making a decision. However, I knew that couldn't be far from the truth. I was already anxious.

My future depended on Christopher coming, but if he did, I don't know if I would even be able to face him.

I took in a deep breath. Just wait until Saturday. I repeated.

Just wait until Saturday.