This Time, I Will Get My Divorce, Mr novel Chapter 663

Chapter 663 Deep-Seated Trauma

“No, I won’t,” Toby said weakly with a shake of his head. He knew that he had issues, too, but he didn’t think these were issues that could go away with therapy.

Sonia frowned unhappily when she heard this and countered by saying, “Why not? And how would you know you won’t get better until you’ve tried it?”

He closed his eyes tiredly. “My mom, she… She regretted giving birth to me…”

“What?” Sonia froze at first, then eyed him in bewilderment. “Did you just say your mom regretted giving birth to you?”

He said nothing, but his silence was an affirmation.

She shook her head incredulously. “That can’t be right. No, that’s impossible! How would you know your mom regretted giving birth to you? Grandma told me that you were really close with your mom and that she was gentle.”

A woman who could earn such praise from Rose couldn’t possibly have regretted giving birth to Toby, but as Sonia assessed the expression on his face, she didn’t think he was lying at all. So what in the world is going on here?

Toby still had his eyes closed, and he did not utter a single word.

Seeing him like this only made her worry more. She leaned closer to him and pleaded, “Tell me, Toby. You can talk to me about anything; I’ll be your most faithful listener. Don’t keep it all inside, or it’ll only make you spiral deeper. Grandma and I really care about you, and we all want to see you walk away from your past and embrace your usual self. If you don’t talk to us or try to overcome the trauma, it’ll only make us worry about you more, and we won’t ever get a peace of mind. Do you really want to see Grandma and I running around like headless chickens every year because of you? Don’t forget that Grandma isn’t getting any younger.”

She didn’t tell him that Rose had collapsed. Given his current state, Rose’s predicament would only add to his burdens. I’ll wait until he feels better, Sonia thought.

Having heard Sonia’s words, Toby parted his lips, and he had to admit that his current state would indeed make everyone around him worry incessantly. More importantly, Rose really wasn’t getting any younger, and with each passing day, her body grew more feeble. The doctor even mentioned that she might only have a few good years left in her.

“The night my mom took her own life…” he whispered, finally willing to speak as he opened his eyes.

Sonia stared at him intently. “Yes?”

“That night, she drank a lot. I had no idea why she drank that much, but I kept her company anyway. It wasn’t until she got really wasted when she held me in her arms and told me a bunch of stuff…” He trailed off as he fixed his hollow gaze on the ceiling. “My mom cried about Connor’s upcoming marriage, and she told me that she would have run away with Connor had she not been pregnant with me at the time. She told me that she only stayed because she was pregnant with me.”

“She…” Sonia faltered a little, then pressed, “So you think that she regretted having you because she told you this?”

His eyelashes fluttered for a bit as he dwelled on his own thoughts. “Back then, I had no idea who Connor was, but I knew my mom didn’t love my dad. She didn’t want to marry my dad, but she chose to stay in the Fuller Family because of me, and she stayed married to my father for the same reason. I was secretly happy when she told me this, until the next morning when I found her body. From there on, my nightmare began to torture me, and it’s been this way for over a decade. In my dreams, I would relive the moment I discovered her body, or I’d dream that she was strangling me with blood-soaked hands. She would ask me why I was born in the first place, and why I got in the way of her happiness.”

Sonia bit down hard on her lower lip, bristling as she urged, “Those are only dreams; they can’t hurt you because they aren’t real.”

“I know that, but what my mom had conveyed to me on the night she took her own life had been her true feelings.” The light in his eyes looked as if it was extinguished as he gazed at Sonia. “Because of these dreams, I realized that my birth was the reason why my mom couldn’t pursue her own happiness. My existence tethered her to the Fuller Family and kept her from escaping; I practically pushed my mom into taking her own life.”

Taken aback by this, Sonia immediately understood that Toby’s deep-seated trauma had not been a result of his witnessing his mother’s suicide but of his belief that he was the reason for her death.