Under a Starless Sky novel Chapter 39

The village secured, Lanore and party went towards Midelay. Their worst fears were confirmed. The river was now a major waterfall, right over the mountain side. Somewhere behind the fall was a doorway leading to East Midelay. The winding bridge was gone. The tower with the light was gone. The place where the winding bridge had been was now a lake, and the river was now flowing further down, having not reached level except here where the river was flowing.

“I am sure they’re alright,” Tell said.

“They are. There are some halls that flooded, but they are okay,” Lanore said.

“We’re cut off,” Ceolla said.

No one said anything.

“What would make the river change?” Tell asked.

“Rivers move,” Shen said. On his walk up he had been re-reading the ‘Mississippi River’ by Mark Twain. The first chapter said it all, and it was his most favorite part of the book. “It likely explains the lack of trees between here and Easterly.”

“It explains your vision,” Neva said. “Had you constructed your village in any other configuration, there would be no people left.”

“There’s nothing more we can do here,” Tell said.

“I know,” Lanore said.

“We should head back,” Ceolla said.

They headed back. Shen fell behind, which was the custom. He fell further behind than the other men. TL had returned to the suit. Tama fell back to walk with him.

“You okay?” Tama asked.

“Yeah,” Shen said. “I want to ask you something.”

“Okay,” Tama said.

“Are you Loxy?” Shen asked. TL tried to comfort him, “Jon, she is not Loxy incarnated…”

“The invisible girl, the one in your dreams?” Tama asked.

“You know?”

“We shared a womb. Why wouldn’t I have shared your dreams?” Tama asked.

“How much do you know of me?”

“Nothing,” Tama said. “It’s so hard to understand that other place. I don’t understand you. I understood you were trying to help people, though. Was that other place heaven? Did heaven reject you, too?”

“Yeah, you don’t understand,” Shen said. “Why haven’t you ever said anything? Asked me questions?”

“I am afraid,” Tama said.

Lanore fell back to talk with them. She was accompanied by her friends.

“Are you two conspiring?” Lanore asked.

“No, L’Ma,” Tama said.

“I will remind you, you are siblings, whether you look like it or not,” Lanore said.

“There is no romance here, mother,” Tama said. She stormed ahead, leaving her mother with Shen.

Tell and Neva fell back, joining the impromptu party.

“How did you resurrect Kyla,” Lanore asked.

“I didn’t,” Shen said. “Dead is dead. Kyla technically wasn’t dead. If you get to a body in time, you can oxygenate the blood, restart the heart. I was lucky. Kyla was lucky. Mostly, anything over five minutes is death, or severe brain damage.”

“Science words again,” Lanore said.

“I can teach you this much. This is easy stuff. Not magic,” Shen said.

“You deny magic?” Lanore asked.

“No. Magic exists. Consciousness exist. Magic and consciousness are synonymous in my book. It seems to be more evident in this world than mine,” Shen said.

“There is no other world!” Lanore said with vehemence.

“There is only one world,” Neva said, softly. “The surface world and the underworld. You are a ghost. You consort with ghosts.”

“TL is not a ghost,” Shen said.

“You have to leave the village,” Lanore said.

“What?”

“A man caught using magic must be put to death,” Lanore said.

Shen stopped, squaring off with Lanore.

“I didn’t use ma…”

“I don’t care!” Lanore said. “No one at the village is going to care. They believe magic and they believe I will act accordingly. You’re a threat to our very way of existing. N’Ma told me to give you a chance. I gave you that. You’re my son. I don’t want this path for you, but you chose this path.”

“You would have preferred I let people die than use my abilities?” Shen asked.

“Yes,” Lanore said. “When it’s your time to die, it’s your time. That’s it.”

“I could take him to live with my people,” Neva said.

“No,” Lanore said.

“I can take him…” Tell said.

“No, you can’t!” Lanore said. “No sympathy! They will know. I will know. It is public death or this. This is mercy.”

“How is this mercy?” Shen asked.

“It is merciful that the family doesn’t have to kill one of their own. It is merciful to the village, that doesn’t have to burn one of their own,” Lanore said. “Most people find death more merciful than loneliness, and the Sleep of the tree the easiest death, but you’re immune to that. I don’t think there is a merciful way for you. Some say the call of Fermon is pleasant, then again, some say the passage through it to the underworld takes a hundred years. No Fermon’s have been found in this quarter, probably died out from eating all the walkers. We don’t know if they die or just go dormant. Apprentices that don’t return from their Night Walk may know, but they are not sharing that. I have heard drowning is reasonably painless. You can hold your breath a moment. Go deep. That’s merciful.”

Shen clenched his face. “You’re advocating I kill myself.”

“Yes,” Lanore said. “Spare me from having to kill you. But, live alone as long as you can stand it. You need to disappear, Shen. You need to go somewhere I can’t track you. I see you again, I will kill you.”

Lanore shifted her backpack off and let it drop to the ground. She walked away.

“Mother,” Shen asked. It was gentle. It was almost pleading.

Lanore stopped. He had never called her mother.

“Promise me, no one will punish Kyla because of me,” Shen said.

Lanore turned to him. A shadow was falling across him, but he was still in her heart light, on the periphery. “Do you think I would kill her to correct your mistake?”

“I don’t know. I am asking, don’t harm her, don’t excommunicate her, don’t punish her.”

“I am sending you to your death, and yet, you’re more concerned about Kyla than your own fate?”

“Yes,” Shen said.

“I promise. Kyla will be treated well. But if she chooses to go the path of Endel, no one can stop her,” Lanore said. She turned and walked away.

Neva touched Shen.

“You’ll find my Kayak where the river use to be. Take it. Go out and along the coast,” Neva said. “You will find my people if you keep close to the coast.” She turned and walked after Lanore.

Tell nodded. “You’re the ugliest man I ever met, but I am happy we met.”

Tell turned, and walked away with Neva. They disappeared into the growing darkness, they pinged out of the heart space, they were not beyond clicking but Shen didn’t want the echo of it. Shen could have illuminated his suit and sparked the land, sending their shadows stretching, but he didn’t. Lanore took Neva’s arm. Full dark took the sky. All silhouettes washed away.

“This will be your first lesson in walking with your heart,” Lanore said.

“My heart is sad, how can I see with it?”

“Wrong heart,” Lanore said.

Lanore stopped. Tama was right in front of her. Neva couldn’t see her, but she knew someone was there.

“He’s beyond the Heart’s Wall,” Tama said. “We should wait till he catches up.”

“He will catch up in the morning. Continue on,” Lanore said.

“We have lost too many people to be losing another,” Tama said.

“Today has been incredibly difficult. Follow your path, not his,” Lanore said.

“No, we wait, or I will go and collect him,” Tama said.

“You will continue on, or I will carry you,” Lanore said. “How do you wish to proceed?” There was silence. “Don’t make me waste a light.”

Tama turned and proceeded in the direction towards home. They came to a point of confusion. Landmarks were missing. Lanore accused them of trusting their eyes, not their heart. Neva, though she couldn’t see as they could, knew they were moving in the right direction. They pressed on and eventually saw the Light of the tower. The closer they got to tower, the more they were tempted to use their eyes. Rocks and felled trees slowed them up but they made it to the gate. All but Tama retired. Tama remained by the gate, waiting.