Hatred With Benefits novel Chapter 44

EVA.

It feels like my heart is about to jump out of my chest with how fast it's thumping, like the sound of galloping horses as I watch Emerson between my legs.

I close my parted lips, swallowing down my dry throat before I open my mouth to speak. "What do you mean with those words?"

Emerson drops my legs and moves to his feet before he says, "You heard what I said, Carson. "

"I heard words that shouldn't be. " I retort and he takes a step closer. "You heard exactly how I feel. I feel more than just sex with you. "

"We already hate each other. " I point out and Emerson shakes his head with a small laugh. "More than that, Carson. I feel more with you. I feel so fucking more that it's starting to annoy me and I just can't keep it to myself. " He ends his words with a groan as he drops his hand to my waist.

"What's your definition of more?" I take the chance to ask, and he lifts his other hand to my mouth; parting my lips and slipping a finger inside as he says, "I want you to give me more of you. I want to know you more than this, and I want us to be more, Eva without having to worry about going over the line, or breaking the rules. " His eyes don't leave mine with each word he utters, and they're staring deep into my soul– threatening me to make a move.

"The rules were made so we wouldn't want more than we agreed to in the beginning, Emerson. " I slip my mouth from his finger so I could talk, and Emerson nods. "We made the rules, and we can break them. "

"What if more doesn't work?" I lift my brows at him and he presses his hands behind me as he says, "You never know until you try it. "

"Emerson, I don't think—" I start to say, but he's quick to silence the rest of my words as he opens his mouth. "Give us a month. A month to have more, then you can think of what to do after that. "

"The semester break is in days. We can't have a month together. " I remind him of the fact that we have to part ways in a few days, and we might not see each other until it's over.

"It lasts for only weeks before we would be back and our houses are beside each other for the break. " Emerson suddenly says and I arch my brows in confusion as I ask, "You're going home?"

When Emerson nods, I proceed to say, "Why? I thought you said you hate it there. "

"I do, but I can't avoid it either, and I'm not joking about more with you, Eva. I'll take any chances that come my way. " Emerson Ford has never been open about his personal feelings like he's right now, and I'm fucking amazed. He's blunt and something about him being this way pulls at the strings of my heart.

When I don't give a response quick enough, he cups my cheeks in his hands and presses his lips to mine, giving me a taste of him before he pulls back with a tiny smile on his face. "More, Eva. "

"I'll think about it. " The words slip through my parted lips, and Emerson stays mute for a beat of a heart before he hums and pulls away.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I watch him move to the other side and grab my panties from the floor. He turns around, and lifts it to his nose– taking a sniff before he hurls it inside his pants pockets.

"You can think about it. " It's the only response he gives before he walks out of the room, and leaves me standing with my mouth opened.

I twist my body to the other direction when he's out of the room, and drop my hands on the counter, lowering my head as Emerson's words ring in my ears.

More with Emerson Ford. How far does that more go? More than relishing in each other's comfort? More than having two of the forms of intimacy? And how willing am I to push into that more with him? Along with all its consequences?

I shake my head and extend my hand to grab the glass of water I left previously, downing the entire content before I drop the glass.

I want you to give me more of you, Eva. Why did he have to make it sound like that? Enough to have me questioning my decisions and what would be at stake.

I heave a sigh before I follow in the path Emerson took, grabbing my bag from the couch as I stride in the direction of my room. I stop at the sight of Emerson's room beside mine, and seconds pass before I gnaw at my lips and proceed to move inside my room, shutting the door behind me with my racing heart never calming.

I throw my bag to the bed, and strip out of my clothes as I stride inside the bathroom, careful with the close of the door behind me before I walk into the shower with the new layer of Emerson Ford never leaving my mind.

~

I shut my laptop and move it back to its spot by the bedside before I slide under the duvet. A frown makes its way to my face as I glide my hand across the space beside me with its occupant out of sight.

I turn to lay my back against the mattress as I stare at the door for some seconds before I drop back to my side and force my eyes closed.

After trying and failing to snatch my sleep without Emerson Ford beside me, I let out a groan of annoyance and sit up on my bed, yanking the duvet from my body.

Without giving it another thought, I'm out of my bed, out of my room and strolling in the direction of the room next to mine.

I lift my hand to the frame to make contact of my knuckles with it, but I drop it to grab the knob instead. When I turn the knob, and push the door– it welcomes me and I walk through it, flinching a bit at the sight of Emerson on his bed in only his boxers and his hands behind his head; the view making it seem like he knew I was coming.