Love Aint Always Pretty novel Chapter 53

Obscurité

Translation: darkness

Origin: French

53

NICK'S POV

SEVEN YEARS AGO

It's been almost a year since my mother died. It's been almost a year since my mother's case was closed. It's been almost a year that I've been fighting for justice of my mother's death. Hans was the one who killed my mom. He intentionally killed my mother but he didn't get to be put in prison cos they paid the entire police station. They paid the witness and they left town right away after that day they killed my mother.

Yes, they. Hans and Mr. Forster.

It has been almost a year too since I lived alone in the house with Tracy. It's been almost a year I've been wanting to get my revenge on them. And it's been almost a year since Catherine left me.

Catherine found out on that same day who killed my mom and she couldn't stand being around me cos she felt guilty of what happened. When I got back home that day, I couldn't find her clothes on our dresser and I found a note on the kitchen table. That's all she left me, a note.

She said how sorry she was and how guilty she was of what happened. She said she didn't want this to happen. She blamed herself that my mom died. She said she didn't expect her father could go this far. She said she's going back to her father. She left me just like that. She left me so easily as if what we had was nothing important.

Catherine left me alone.

"Congratulations Nick." Tracy hugs me.

"Thanks Trace." I hugged her back and kissed her forehead.

"Bro, we're graduates! Wuhooo!" Alec fist bumped with me.

I smiled at him and he hooks his arm around my neck. "Dude, stop with that remorseful look. I'm sure your mom is proud of you right now."

"I just wish she could've seen me right now. She'd be so proud of me. She'd tell me for sure that she didn't expect I'd pass high school." I laugh humorlessly.

I looked up at the sky. "This is for you mom."

"How about we go to Tuck's party tonight? They said it's going to be epic! It's the last party we could attend to as high school. What do you say?" Alec offered.

"I can't leave Tracy alone." I say.

"Mom will guard her for us. She could sleep in my place." Alec blurted.

"I'll be fine Nick. Just go and have fun." Tracy says.

•••••

Later that afternoon after attending my high school graduation, I waited for my shift in this mechanic shop to end. I tried to do little fixes in the engine of this car that needs to be picked up any minute now. It's an old classic car and it's a pretty damn beautiful ride. Mrs. Tonkin, the wife of this shop's original owner, said that a beautiful man and a pretty lady owns this ride and she also said it's a pretty damn special car for them cos they'll be using it when they get married.

I stared at the engine as Alec starts trying it back again. He starts the engine and thank goodness it starts working. Alec steps out of the driver's seat.

"It worked bro!" Alec chimed.

I smile and closed the trunk. "That's really brilliant. I'm sure the owner of this car will extremely be happy."

"Damn this baby is a 1959 classic."

I smiled.

"Boys! The owners of that car are here." I hear Mrs. Tonkin call out to us.

Alec and I hurriedly turned around to see who it was. To my surprise, I dropped the tool from my hand and I stood there, frozen. My eyes grew bigger every time they walked near us and my heart was pumping really fast. I feel so surprised and happy but furiously angry.

Catherine is with Hans!

I know Catherine was also shocked to see me too and Alec even stared at me the moment he knew it was her and this douche bag. Her eyes looked like she's about to cry but she's holding it back.

I wanted to hug her. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to ask her where she was for almost a year of leaving me. I wanted to ask her how she was. I wanted to ask her why she left me so easily. I wanted to do so many things and ask her so many things but I stare at Catherine, she looks happy now.

Happy with Hans.

Catherine was wearing a loose black dress and a pair of golden flats. She's so pretty. She's always so beautiful to me. Her hair is always so perfectly in place.

As they came closer and closer to us, I knew something was not right here. I glared at Hans and he was so calm. He planned this. He knew I worked here that's why he brought this stupid car here. I know he planned this cos he's smirking at me. His smirk tells me that he finally won.

"This is Hans Fitzgerald." Mrs. Tonkin said to us while gesturing. "And his beautiful fiancée, Miss Catherine Forster."

Fiancée.

I'm fighting my tears back. I don't want to cry in front of this bastard who killed my mother. Catherine stands right before me. She gained weight. Her cheeks are a little bit chubby. I looked down on her stomach.

My eyes dilated.

She's pregnant!

Catherine is pregnant.

"And they're having a baby soon that's why he's marrying her. It's really lovely. They're such a perfect couple." Mrs. Tonkin chimed happily.

I feel my heart being ripped right in front of them and Catherine isn't even doing anything. She just kept looking at me. Not a word said. Not a how are you from her. Not even an I miss you Nick came from her mouth. I grabbed the car keys from my pocket and handed it to Catherine. "Your wedding car's ready."

I pulled my head up to her and she's looking at me. "I fixed it." I added.

I glanced at Hans then looked back at her as I exhaled heavily. "And congrats."

I walked away from them and I hear Mrs. Tonkin calling out my name. I couldn't look back. I'm so hurt. She's left me for almost a year and now she shows up with her bump and being married to Hans soon? Catherine is so unfair. I waited for her to come back. I held on to that promise that her and I made. I held on tight to it even though she left me cos I know that she loves me and I'm sure she'll come back.

"Nick wait up!" Alec chased me.

He pants as he taps my shoulder. "Dude."

"I don't wanna hear it Alec." I say.

He exhales. "Why didn't you beat him up there? That dick killed your mother!"

I shake my head. "Catherine was there."

I ran my fingers through my hair.

"I couldn't hit him Alec. Not in front of Catherine and she's pregnant." I added.

I laugh humorlessly. "She's fucking pregnant with Hans' baby, man."

Later that night, I didn't want to go to that party that Alec said. Instead, I drove back to that old house where Catherine and I used to live together. Even though it was a short period of time, it was very memorable to me. This place was where Catherine and I filled our dreams together. This house was where we planned our future together. This was where we started planning our family soon and her future with me in it.

I parked my car and noticed that there was another white car at the lot. I hurriedly grabbed my gun and inserted it inside my jeans then covered it over with my shirt. I had this gun ever since my mom died. Dad came here last year and left it for me, he said to use it for self defense or something bad happens to Tracy. He wanted me to have this.

I stepped inside the front door and noticed that the entire lights were on. No one comes here, instead of me. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Catherine's image appeared on top of the staircase. She paused and looked shocked to find me here. Slowly, she starts coming down the steps and I didn't move from where I was standing. Her bump looks clearer now than a while ago.

"Nick. What a surprise." She says weakly.

"I should tell you that. What are you still doing here?" I asked monotone.

She exhales. "Visiting." She says while touching her bump.

"How many months?" I asked as I stare at her stomach.

She gazes at me. "Seven."

We grew quiet as I watch her sit down on the couch. The couch where we'd used to cuddle or make out with when we watch a movie she loves. "Sit with me." She says.

I exhaled as I walk towards her. I slowly sat down without saying a word and neither did she. We stared at the tv right across us as our reflection was appearing on the blackish grayish screen.

"Remember how we'd run around this living room chasing each other like little kids?" She asked.

I nod.

"We did a lot of stuff inside this house. We cooked together, we washed clothes together, we ate together, we washed dishes together. I learned how to do chores cos you taught me. You learned not to cook cos of me. We even slept together in one bed and we showered together and we--"

"Exactly Catherine. We. Not you and Hans but we. You and I." I cut her off.

She gazes at me then bends her head down as she stares at her lap.

"What happened Catherine? What happened to us? What did I do wrong? Why did you leave me just like that? Why didn't you come back to me? Everyday I'd wait outside that doorstep hoping you'll come back to me, but you didn't." I say with my shaky voice.

"I think I grew up, Nick." She says.

Catherine moves her head to me. "I realized that what my father told me was true. He was right about everything he pointed out to me. You can't support me."

"But you were okay with--"

"I was young and careless Nick. Sixteen year olds make stupid decisions."

"Running away with me and being with me was a stupid decision?" I asked.

She nods. "I thought what we had was forever but then I realized that I need to live my dreams and not to be stuck inside this old house."

I exhale as I got hurt by her answer. Her words were knife and how she said it so calmly makes me mourn.

"Did you ever love me Catherine?" I asked her.

Both of us looking at each other and she's doubtful of what to say to me. "Did you?"

"Yes Nick. I loved you so much. I used to love you." She says.

I used to love you.

I exhaled heavily as I try to sink those words inside my mind then I reached for her small soft hand. I hold onto it, for the first time after a year. "God knows how much I missed you Catherine. I missed you terribly like each day was killing me without you by my side."

She looks at me so eagerly and I was doing the same thing. "But you lived." She says.

"Cos I was still in hopes that you'll come back." I tell her.

Catherine looked sad and slightly looked away from me.

"Before I finally let you go..." I trailed off.

She looks back at me pitifully. Her eyes tells me not to let her go but then she was the first one who let go of me. She was the one who left me.

"Let me kiss you." I say.

Catherine slightly smiles at me and nods. I held her cheek, like it was the first time we do it. She tilts her head sideways, feeling my palm closely. I started moving closer and closer to her until both of closed our eyes, until my lips were on her lips and until we started kissing. I kiss her with all the love I feel for her. I want her to feel my love with our one last kiss.

"I still love you Catherine.." I say as I pull myself away from her.

She looks at me with tears in her eyes.

"I love you too much that I don't know how to forget about you. I love you too much that I can't seem to love any other woman anymore." I added.

"Don't say that Nick. Someday you will find someone who will love you back the way you should be loved. It's not me."

"Argh! Why do you say that so easily?!" I yelled as I stand on my feet.

"Why do you say that when that someone is you! I just want to be with you! Only you Catherine! I don't want anyone!" I yelled again as I feel my tears gathering on my eyes.

She stands as she tries to hold my hand, "Nick I'm--"

"Don't touch me!" I pulled my hand away from her.

I hear something crash and when I turned around, Catherine fell on the ground. I gasped. I pushed her hard. I hurt Catherine. "Catherine! Oh god. I'm sorry. I didn't--"

"What the fuck are you doing to her?!" Someone yelled that came from the front door.

As I helped Catherine stand, Hans came rushing towards us and pushed to the side then hit me on the face. I almost fell to the ground if I didn't lean on to the wall.

"You fucking bastard! You're hurting my girlfriend!" He yelled at me.

I grunt as I held my jaw. "Last time I checked me and Catherine didn't break up. She just left me. I'm still her official boyfriend."

"Why you son of a--"

"Hans stop it! Don't even think about it. You've done enough!" Catherine pulled him back.

"Stay out of this Catherine. He killed my mother!! He killed her!! He killed a helpless woman who was crossing the street that day!!" I yelled as my tears started falling.

"Nick please, you're just mad. You don't want to do this." Catherine begs.

I laugh. "Tell me why the fuck I don't want to do this?! He killed my mother, Catherine! You know how hurt I was when I knew about it! You were there! You saw me! And then he left town like he didn't do anything wrong!! Your fiancé is a murderer!!"

I pulled out the gun and pointed it to him. Catherine and Hans' eyes grew wide.

"Nick! Put that gun down please! Nick please." Catherine begs with her shaky voice while her tears were filling her eyes.

"No Catherine. Fucking no!! He stole you from me and he killed my mother! He deserves to be dead! Then that'll make everything equal! I'll avenge my mother's death! I'll kill him!! I'm gonna fucking kill this cunt!!" I yelled as I cried.

"Then you'll end up just like him. You'll end up like a murderer too." Catherine says while she's crying with me. "Nick please this is not you. This isn't the Nick I know. Please."

I pulled my hair and I'm so confused. I want to kill him. I want to kill Hans! I'm so mad cos of everything that he has done. I'm crying and Catherine is also crying.

"You asshole!" I hear Hans say as he starts attacking me

"Hans! Nick! Stop it!!" Catherine yells from behind Hans.

I strongly pushed Hans away from me and pointed the gun at him. He pulled his hand up as if he was in surrender, while Catherine was crying on the corner of the living room.

"Nick don't do this." She begs.

"Catherine stay there. I'll handle this psycho." Hans says.

"Psycho? Maybe I'm a psycho. I'm going crazy! You killed my mother and you stole my girlfriend! You stole my life!" I yelled.

My hands are shaking. "You deserve to die!"

"Nick no!!"

I pulled the trigger and the sound of the gun echoes around the entire house.

"Catherine!!!" Hans yelled out.

My eyes widened.

There's blood.

I shot Catherine.

__________

SFTC:

Kiss It Better - He Is We