I Am The Luna (Moonlight Muse) novel Chapter 119

I Am The Luna by Moonlight Muse Chapter 119

An Exchange
SEBASTIAN.

All I see is the look in her eyes as she raised the gun and shot me.

I’ve lost her.

She will never forgive me, and why should she?

I brought this on myself…

The same thoughts circle my mind, slamming me with the brutal truth of what I have done.

Spinning, screaming, and shouting as they whirl around my head; and there’s nothing I can do but accept it.

I was close to death after she shot me, but Gerard refused to let me die, although both Gaultier and Zade didn’t mind if I did.

All I remember was Gerard saying he would not let me die and if anything happened, they would all suffer the consequences.

I now stare out at the moon through the skylight. Night has fallen, but it’s just another painful day gone. Another day that I am haunted by the memories of the Alpha Queen shooting me without any hesitation.

I deserved that.

There was a moment she was shocked… but it was just a secondary reaction. She didn’t turn back as she left the room, but I shouldn’t be expecting anything, anyway. When the one who pushed her to this was none other than me.

How many times have I betrayed her trust? Far too many times.

I know that… but then why do I sit here thinking of her day and night? With every day that passed I realised that, that I don’t think I could live without her. Which doesn’t matter anyway, this isn’t about me…

The guilt of every fucking stupid decision I’ve made, the regret of every fucking time I’ve caused her pain, claws at me. Ripping me apart with guilt and regret from the inside.

She deserves so much fucking better. Yet I know that she loved me, and I destroyed her faith in me repeatedly. I can feel my wolf’s agony inside of me, his anguish at the fact I do not have her nearby. 1

I don’t deserve her, not anymore… she was too good for me from the start… and although I thought I did good, all I did was fucking hurt her.

I’ll never forget the way her lavender eyes were full of pain.

My head drops as I feel the stinging in my eyes as my vision blurs.

Why did I always fuck up even when all I want is the best for those I love?

“What is going on?!” Gaultier’s distant snarl makes me look towards the doors. Something must have happened…

I stand up, silently making my way to the door and open it. They’re probably watching me in this room, anyway.

I try to be careful, but I also know they will never fully trust me, regardless. Gaultier slams his fist into the wall as Zade growls at him.

“Calm the fuck down. We can’t let…” he trails off when he sees me.

“We can’t what?” I ask, walking over to them, and shoving my hands into the pockets of my pants.

“You don’t need to fucking know. Aren’t you meant to be resting?” he says sarcastically.

“I’m healed,” I reply coldly, although due to the poison in the bullet, I am still not fully recovered, but I am getting there.

“Good, so fuck off.” Gaultier snarls.

“Alright, I’ll just go ask Gerard what the fuck is going on,” I shoot back coldly, about to turn away when Zade grabs my forearm.

“Hey… listen, this doesn’t involve you,” Zade warns.

“Or it does. Don’t you think it’s strangely fucking coincidental that now of all fucking times they figured out the cameras?” He spits, now looking at me accusingly.

I don’t react, cocking a brow. “Cameras? What are we talking about?”

So, they understood the message. Excellent.

This will help them get a step ahead instead of being spied on all the damn time. 1

“The cameras in your shitty pack!” Gaultier snarls about to shove me when Zade intercepts.

him.

“Hey… man, calm the fuck down.” He warns him and I’m doing my fucking all to stop myself from bashing his fucking face in.

That’s when I hear it, the extremely silent footsteps of Lawrence. He was freaking silent, even more than me, able to mask his scent and heartbeat efficiently and I don’t think he even realises I can sense him and that is something I don’t plan to let on.

“I would listen to him, and have any of you notified Gerard of this? It’s no small matter. If something has happened with the cameras, then we need to let him know.”

Not that they can do anything.

Lawrence has stopped, he’s listening.

“Oh yeah? What are we going to tell him? That somehow, they found out?” Gaultier asks coldly.

“Wait… do you think they’ve discovered them?” Zade says suddenly.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Fuck. I mean our people in that pack. Maybe we do need to tell Gerard and Father right now,” Zade says suddenly.

“Not maybe, we do,” I say, just as Lawrence begins moving again.

“Sebastian is right, there is no maybe to it.” hist voice comes from to the left, making both men tense as he steps into the light.

“Yes, of course…” Zade says, lowering his head.

“Now what’s happened?” he asks them coldly.

You got this, Zaia… destroy them.

“They have possibly discovered Ms Agatha. All the cameras have been pulled.” Zade says, making my blood run cold.