Love Aint Always Pretty novel Chapter 64

Evanesce

- to dissipate like vapor

64

"Tell Nick I miss him." Ingrid says to me.

I nod. "Yes. I'll tell him that. I'm sure he misses you too."

Ingrid throws herself at me.

"I'll miss you Savannah." She says.

"I'll miss you too little angel." I say.

I pulled myself away from her and dad hugs me quickly. I hugged him back too.

"Just forget about him Savannah. Forget about that ex-convict guy. He's no good for you." Dad says to me.

"Dad. Please stop with the ex-convict thing." I pulled myself away.

"Look, my close friend offered me a spot for you at NYU for next semester. Same course but then you'll have to get easier access for your internship right away."

"Dad, I told you I need to stand on my own feet without you backing me up that's why I picked WSU. And if you're also doing this to get rid of Nick out of my life, no. It's not working." I said.

"Savannah he's an ex-convict!"

"Dad please! I hate it so much when you judge him like that. I love him and if you don't accept him for who he is then that's gonna be your problem dad." I raged.

Mom holds my arms. "Baby, listen to me. Okay? You're so so young. You'll find some new guys in NYU and--"

"Mom. I just said I love Nick. I don't need new guys. I'll get going now." I say as I step on Cameron's car.

Cameron starts the car. "You really didn't have to say that to mom and dad."

"I had to. It felt good."

•••••

When I arrived back to the dorm room, I was expecting Tracy would be there already but I guess she wasn't. I started putting out my clothes and placed it back to my closet. The door opens wide.

"Savannah! I really missed you!" Tracy runs towards me and throws herself at me. I hugged her back as tight as I could cos I missed her.

"You've gotten even thinner since the last time I saw you." I say.

"Really? I take that as a compliment!" She laughs it off.

It has been six days since I saw Nick after New Year's Day and I haven't heard of him since then. I don't know where he is and he haven't even tried to contact me anymore. He's gone again. I hate it when he does that to me and he knows I hate it but he's doing it again.

"Do you know where Nick is?" I asked.

"Oh." She snaps but looks away sadly.

I looked into her eyes.

"No. Sorry. He didn't tell me where he was after New Year's Day. Weren't he with you?" She says.

I paused. "He was but then he left me and haven't contacted me."

"But on the bright side, you're both finally together!!" She chimes so happily.

I smiled at her and I'm so glad that she is happy for me, that she is happy for us. But one thing I hate about Nick is that he leaves me alone without letting me know where he is. I just hate that the most.

"You don't really know where he is?" I asked Tracy again.

She looks at me pitifully. "No. Sorry. Have you tried calling him?"

I nod vigorously. "But he's not answering my calls. It's just ringing. He's hiding from me and I don't know why he is doing that. He told me he loves me but then he leaves me out of the blue."

"He's not hiding from you. Why would he? Look, wherever Nick is Im sure he's just... I don't know. Busy? He's for internship next semester remember? And he still hasn't found a company to work for. I'm sure he's still busy looking."

I sigh. "He knows I can always help him with my dad's company."

Tracy smiled ruefully. "Look, let's just go out tonight? Both of us just got back here and we need to spend our post Christmas and New Year's Day celebration."

I smiled.

"But I've got finals to study." I pout.

"Just tonight, I promise. Then after tonight, you're free to study all the weeks left you want before finals."

I smiled. "Okay. I need to party before finals week."

"Yes!! We'll go out tonight."

"Where?"

She hums for a while. "The frat house is hosting this party tonight. Wanna go? Maybe Nick is going to show up there."

"Oh I'll beat his ass when I see him there and he hasn't texted not called me."

Tracy laughs.

•••••

A week has passed after that party I went to with Tracy and I haven't seen Nick! A week! A goddamn week! Almost three weeks in all that I haven't seen him or even his shadow or heard his voice since. He hasn't texted me or called me or asked how I was and Tracy doesn't even know where he is. Neither does Alec. Nobody knows where Nick is. Where the fuck is he? I don't fucking know.

Now that we're officially together, he's not around? At least if he's busy hunting down companies to work for his internship, he could tell me about it. He would let me know where on earth he is.

But he is not fucking here. He's nowhere to be seen and I'm going insane thinking about it.

"Yoh!"

I turned around and found Billy sitting down right next to me. I smiled at him to be nice but I wasn't really in the mood to talk cos one, I'm mad at Nick for missing for three weeks and two Im failing my finals cos I'm thinking about Nick.

"Hey Billy. Have you seen Nick around here?" I asked him.

He shakes his head. "No. Sorry. Everyone in the house is looking for him too. Not even Alec knows where Nick is."

"Impossible. Every time Alec tells me he doesn't know where Nick is, I'm sure as hell he does." I sigh.

"If you haven't just fallen in love with him, we could've hang out Savannah."

I smiled at him. "Billy you're like a great friend to me. If ever you find some piece of info about Nick, please tell me?"

He nods. "Good luck for finals Savannah."

I smiled at him. "Thanks. You too."

•••••

One night, I was becoming so desperate not to see, hear and know where my boyfriend is and what he's currently doing cos his phone is always ringing when I call him but he isn't picking it up so I went up to the frat house alone. He's doing this on purpose. He's not answering my calls but why? I need to know why.

I knocked continuously on the door until someone finally opens it. Alec sighs.

"You have got to tell me where Nick is, Alec. Please." I begged as my tears gathered around my eyes.

"Savannah I really don't know where he is. I swear to god I do not know."

I bursted out into tears and just broke down crying, Alec quickly caught me on his arms. He just hugs me tight cos he knows it's been almost a month that Nick has been lost. No one knows where he is and I'm going nuts thinking where could he possibly be for a month!

"Alec I don't know where Nick is. I don't know where he went to. I just don't know where he has gone. I'm going out of my mind every single night thinking about him. I just... Alec tell me." I begged him.

"I really don't.. I don't know where he is. I'm so sorry Savannah." Alec says to me.

I pulled myself away from him and wiped my tears off my face. "If... If you perhaps see him... Please.. tell him I've been looking for him." I say.

•••••

Finals week was over and I still don't know where Nick went to. I was glad for Aries cos he was having his early start of internship in California. As for me, my dad was still forcing me to transfer to NYU even though I have been dying on knowing where Nick is.

Two months have gone by and I haven't seen him. I don't know what I did wrong for him to be gone this long. It's been the longest. He's nowhere to be found. Everyday I worry about him. Everyday I wish he would already show up. Everyday I wonder where he is. I miss him so much and every time I call him, he doesn't answer my call. He just let's it ring. I went back to my dorm to pack my things cos Cameron was going to pick me in a while.

It was already spring, I haven't seen Nick and still no text or call from him. Everyone else was excited for spring break but I wasn't feeling on celebrating it cos I don't know where my boyfriend is. I can't seem to enjoy everything I do. I'm not even sure if I'll get good results from my exams.

"Trace?" I called out.

She smiles at me. "Savannah! I'm so glad I still waited for you before I leave."

Tracy throws herself at me and hugged me really tight. "I need to say goodbye to you before I go. I'm having this early internship in New Jersey. I'm so thrilled."

I faked a smile. "You mean to say, you're not going to stay here next semester?"

She pouts. "No."

Now I feel worst.

"But!" She snaps. "I'll always call you if I have time to drop by. I'll visit you. I'm so sad that I won't be staying in one dorm room with you anymore."

I feel a bit sadder now that she's leaving me here alone. Tracy has always been a good friend to me. She's always been there and I wouldn't know how to deal if I have a new roommate. Everyone's having their internship, even Alec too which leaves me with Billy. Now it makes me more sad cos I'll be alone again. It makes it worse cos I don't know where in hell Nick is.

I would cry every night and I'd wake up every morning with a heavy heart and swollen eyes with dark circles. I'd always ask Tracy and Alec every single day where Nick is or if he contacted them but still they don't have anything about him. Sometimes I wonder of they're hiding him from me, but I can't find a reason why. What could I have possibly done that made him go away like that? What happened to me and him? What did I do wrong?

I just don't understand him at all.

Is this it?

Is this how it ends?

Is this how Nick ends it?

Leaving me?

What did I do? That's always the question I have in mind.

As I sit down on Cameron's car, we were on our way home and I didn't feel like I wanted to talk to anyone cos I don't know where on earth is my boyfriend. Nick is the one on my mind ever since he left me all of a sudden for no reason. I don't even know if he's still breathing or not. God, please let him be alive. I'm still going to marry him and have tons of kids with him under a small lovely home.

When we got home, the maids grabbed my luggages and placed everything inside my room. I rushed to my parents arms and just hugged them tight. I wanted to tell Cameron what was happening but then I'm scared that he might beat up Nick if he'll know that he hasn't contacted me for almost three months now.

I don't know if we're still in a relationship cos it feels like we're not anymore. I don't know why he said he loved me when he'll just leave me like a trash. It was too good to be true.

The following morning after the day I arrived back home, I headed to my dad's library since the maids said he was inside. I'm sure of what I'm going to do. I have been ink about is all night, hence the darker circles and fluffier eye bags. I knocked on my father's door and opened it gently. I peeped my head through the opening door, "Come in Savannah." Dad says.

I marched my way inside and walked closer to his desk. "Hey dad."

"What brings you here? You only come here when you need money for shopping or you need something that's really a huge amount. What is it?" He asked while writing something on a file.

I smiled. "No dad. It's not about shopping." I say.

He looks at me intently. "Then what is it?"

I took a deep breath in and exhaled heavily out my mouth. "About that offer in NYU." I say.

"I wanna take it." I said right away.

My dad's eyes dilated.

"Next semester. I wanna transfer to New York University dad." I said firmly.

He smiles at me hugely and stands on his feet. "Oh that is the most wonderful decision you have ever made Savannah. I am very proud of you. You'll find a job right away."

Revenge? No. I'm doing this to forget about Nick for a little while, cos it looks like he seemed to forget about me now. He's not even looking for me or ask me how on earth I was and definitely not even the words I miss you and I love you coming from him. Nothing. He doesn't need me. I don't know why he left me just like that. I thought about it all these months and I still couldn't understand why he left though I had one conclusion.

I think he didn't mean to say it that he loved me in front of my dad. He was just saving our asses cos dad saw us kissing. I guess he's too nice and he couldn't break my heart.

Nick left me out of the blue with no legitimate explanation given to me. I don't know why he did this. I don't know why he ended it like this.

__________

SFTC:

Keep Forgetting (To Forget About You) - Jojo