The Lycan Princess and the Temptation of Sin novel Chapter 96

SKYLA.

I don’t like that look.

It’s a look I’ve seen in the mirror so many fucking times…

He looks away, as if not wanting me to know what he’s feeling.

A tense silence falls between us, and I hate where we’ve come to. I close my eyes, trying to calm down. Now I fucking feel guilty for saying that.

“Well… I’m sorry, that you felt like that... I…” He pauses as if trying to recollect his thoughts.

“Dad…” I exhale, opening my eyes and looking at him. “You don’t need to be sorry. You’re not responsible for the way I feel.”

“I kinda am when I’m your father. You being a Lycan is my fucking fault. I know how it feels to be isolated, wondering why the fuck I’m even alive when I don’t fit in anywhere… it wasn’t exactly the entire truth but it’s how I felt.” He says, his voice is quiet, and even though he’s trying to hide them, there are so many emotions in them.

I don’t know if I can do this. I feel too damn emotional, and he only makes it worse when he cups my face and looks into my eyes with eyes filled with emotions. I thought he wanted to hide.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this vulnerable since Kataleya was taken and he broke down… he didn’t know I saw him, but I did. That image of my father, the all-powerful king sitting there with his head in his hands, always remained…

I’m about to turn away, but he doesn’t let me, pressing his lips against my forehead before looking into my eyes.

“I know how it feels trying to fight the darkness that’s constantly trying to consume you. I’ve done things that I regret. I’ve killed people and hurt people, some that still carry those scars until this day. The guilt of it all won’t ever go away, but I’m trying every fucking day. I’m trying to be better.

Your mother is my tether. She pulled me from the darkness that was drowning me…” He stops, his eyes glinting and he closes his eyes.

“I see myself in you. The poisons, I’ve done the same. I’ve drunk bottles of wolfsbane to cope. At the age of thirteen, when I shifted, I killed my parents in rage. The scars on Maria’s back. I did that to her… I used to beat Raf to within an inch of his life just because I was fucking pissed off. I’ve done far worse…”

My heart thuds. Sure I knew Endora faked her own death, but we were also told it was at the cost of her mate… Dad did that? Everything he said from Uncle Rafael to the wolfsbane… it hits home.

“Did you really… kill them?”

“Endora may have faked her death, but I assure you… my father was a victim of hers and I was the one who ended his life… instead of saving him from her spells and control, I ended his life.” He says quietly.

Killed his own father. Just the thought sends fear rushing through me.

That’s a nightmare that haunts me often enough that I’ll hurt someone I love to the point that nothing can be done to save them.

“You won’t.” He answers my unspoken thought, and I look up at him again.

“You did…” I whisper, knowing he had his brother who always supported him there for him, but what happened is horrible.

He shakes his head, letting go of my face as he wraps his arms around me tightly, and I can hear his racing heart as he holds me close. There’s a different kind of comfort in a father’s embrace.

“I know you won’t do what I did, because whether I selfishly hate it or not, you have found your tether, your light. You found the calm to your storm, just as Kiara is mine. You found yours sooner. I can’t imagine a life without her and I know even when I lose my shit, when I upset her and test her limits. Even then, just a touch from her and I have something to hold onto.”

“That’s Royce for me.” I whisper.

I hate being so vulnerable. I hide behind my attitude, and this is too fucking much, but he’s trying too…

“I know… and I’m fucking sorry for losing my shit… but when I heard of his possible death… and you weren’t answering your phone. A thousand thoughts were going through my mind. What if you can’t cope with his loss? What if… what if you were gone too? Why did he have to mark you so soon and so much fucking more and so I channelled my fear and worry into-”

“Anger… because it’s the easiest way to express your feelings without showing the world that you’re scared, because we tell ourselves we have to always be fucking strong.” I finish and I’m glad he’s hugging me because I’m breaking.

I clutch onto his shirt, the feel of his chest reminds me of those nights he’d carry me when I was a child and I’d fall asleep on his lap… I remember the way I used to try to pinch his nipples when I could see the outlines of the little barbells and cackle when I succeeded. The way I used to play with his necklaces and memorise every tattoo on his neck.

“One hundred fucking percent… I see myself in you Sky, but like they say, when two people are so fucking alike… it’s hard, right? Not to clash?” His voice sounds thick too, and I nod.

“I’m sorry we pushed you to that. I never meant to make you feel fucking suffocated. We only wanted you safe and to be able to talk to us, but we weren’t always like this Sky… you started closing yourself off and shutting us out. Where did I go wrong?”

You didn’t.

I’m unable to stop the soft sobs that escape my own lips as tears spill from my eyes, and when the first few fall, it opens the dam to so many more.

“You didn’t. Kat was going through so much, her nightmares and trauma. I had to do better… I didn’t want to be a burden but, in the end, I still became one. I was trying to deal with it my way. Fuck, I’m not crying for sympathy. I just hate this!” I say, trying to wipe my eyes. He loosens his hold on me and I look up at him defiantly.