The beast and the blessed novel by Ashley Breanne novel Chapter 117

Twelve: Joselin

Joselin's P.O.V.

I was a woman on a mission. Nothing would stop me, and if anyone tried, there would be hell to pay.

The cold metal tray in my hands was dirty but empty as I carried it down the hallway. I wouldn't let anyone, not Killian or Tobias, bring me down again. Yet, my eyes seemed to move on their own across each face I passed, looking for Tobias and failing to find him.

The guards dipped their heads to me as I strode past them, my heels clicking against the floor as I approached the king’s office door. There was no knocking, no warning of my entrance as I shoved the door open.

Killian growled at the rude and unwelcome interruption but didn't bother getting up. Natalie was sitting on his lap and greeted me with a smile. I couldn't return it.

’Joselin,'' Killian greeted, and I stopped before his desk, ignoring the man sitting in the visitor's chair to my left. There was a moment of silence as I stared down at my best friend and his mate before tossing the dirty tray onto the wooden surface between us. A few crumbs bounced out, and I felt satisfied when his anger melted away and was replaced with realization. "Shit, Josie. We were..."

"This better be good." I snapped, and Natalie looked between us, confused. ’After all the shit I have done for the two of you and have put up with because of you, I would love to hear this."

"Hm," The man hummed, and I looked down at the blonde as he eyed me with appreciation. "You look even more beautiful this morning. How is that possible?"

I blinked down at him, feeling my anger melting away a small fraction before I forced my eyes away from Holden. His green eyes were a shade lighter than Natalie's, and I had to scold myself when I immediately found myself comparing them to the brown of Tobias's.

"You two have met?" Natalie asked, but a suspicious undertone refueled my anger toward them.

'Yes, we met last night when you and your mate stood me up." Natalie flinched but looked surprised as I turned my glare from her to Killian. "So, let's have it. What was your excuse this time?"

"There were a few personal matters to attend to," Killian said, his voice short and clipped. It was Natalie's cheeks growing pink that gave him away.

"One hour. That was all I asked of you." My voice dropped, but my anger was still there, bubbling beneath the surface. "We have been best friends for fifteen years. I pushed it aside when your mate accused me of sleeping with you. I've accepted that you no longer wish to be alone with me for more than a few minutes at a time, and even then, you keep the door open to stop Natalie from getting upset or worried about our friendship."

"Hold on now. I didn't know about any of this." Natalie argued, and while she looked angry, I was pleasantly surprised that she kept her magic under control. She was improving. No matter how angry I was and how certain I was sure she would make my job obsolete soon, I was still proud of her.

"Which makes it even worse because once again, he didn't want to be alone with me, said he would bring you, and then didn't even tell you about it. That tells me that he never intended to show up at all." I wished I had a beast like them at that moment. At least then, I could have growled at Killian as he lifted his hand to silence me like I was one of his annoying underlings, complaining about some irrelevant bullshit.

"I know you are upset and have the right to be. I got distracted and didn't mean to stand you up." We stood staring at each other, waiting for the

other to break. I had the feeling he was waiting for me to accept that as his apology while I was waiting for an actual one and maybe hoping he had the desire to reschedule to be there for me.

But he had told me time and time again. He was a king. He apologized to no one.

It was so rare that he ever said he was sorry to me, and even with our friendship crumbling, he wouldn't do it. "You really don't see it still, do you?"

Killian opened his mouth to speak, but I saw him thinking over my question.

’Killian, I asked you as my friend to be there for me when I needed you. I asked for one hour of your time, and that was too much for you. You are a good person and a great king, but you don't understand the difference between making something a priority and making it your only priority.

Charlie was begging you for years for you to be there for her..." I watched his shoulders hunch down slightly, and Natalie got off his lap, keeping her hand on his shoulder.

"That's not fair, Joselin." She scolded, and I tried to push aside my annoyance, knowing she was only defending her mate and wasn’t intentionally trying to be rude. "He has a million things he has to split his time between."

Killian looked at a loss for words. I knew if I could read his mind, I would hear the same thing he always bitched to me about when it came to his sister Charlie. He was always so frustrated that she constantly demanded more from him and for him to 'be better' when he felt he was already trying his hardest. He told me how frustrating it was when he had nothing more to give, yet here I was doing the same thing.

Even I had to admit that he had been getting better since finding Natalie, but he still had a lot of growing to do, just as I did. We all did. No one was perfect, and I kept trying to remind myself of that as I forced my disappointment down.

I waited another moment for him to say something, but he seemed to be at a genuine loss for words for once in his life.

"Yeah, I know that. But before he found you, I spent the last fifteen years supporting him through everything with his parents and his coronation. I buried myself in his work to help keep the weight on his shoulders from crushing him. I have put up with a lot of shit, and I get our relationship won't ever be the same now that he has you as his person instead of me." I turned to look at Killian, seeing the pain on his face but not sparing him any more of my pity or concern.